Wednesday, 20 June, 1953

PORN HUB LIVE

New Broll styling gel makes your hair look vvery nice. You should buy some at www.pronhuib.com. Porn hub is the best site in the whole world. If you like pornhub, then oyou will love pronhub live. Ok I write som dead line no meak me ded. Send help, and nudes. bye have gud time.

Ben

FREE V-BUUCKS

An armed bank robber was told by another man to turn the m themselves in because they would be cgougood people. The man was given 20 milling dollars . The moral of the sotry is do not ronb peopler robbing is not good. You will go to jali if you ron people. and dont die

Ben

THREE PEOPLE DEAD AND IN JUST A WEEK?

Thiswee has happened sometime wvery sidisturbing, this week alone!w Three people of eledery age have died by some dmysterious cause. We need to think of this situation. How can this happen? We have to find a politcally solution to cull this cause. We could suspect the drugs cause of the bands. The music bands are dangeorus too. Rember music kills.

Okay IUmagoodboy okay

HELP

Hrl Im supposed to right about theifs or cars I cant remember but i ned nedd need your help this publisher has me ha hostage and want to kill me because they are a appart of the north koreans and hate me for being well me so plea please send cops or military some one

bhgfdffg

KILL ALL DEM CATS SO DOGS CAN EAT

After large amounts of crime towards puppies by kittens there is nowe now a law stating stateing evry every sixth cat has to be made in to dog kibble now whuile while that sounds bad it helps victimized dogs heal and get stronger after cat attacks happen. so ples please lets stop dog racism together KILL THE CATS

bhgfdffg

STEALING CARS WITH HOLY RACOONS

Recentley its been a good idea to steal cars I gues. So im here to help you first get a racoon. The racoon has tiny hands and can unlock the door fro you because of your hude sausage fingers, Next a gun pop s cap in whoever comes across you. Next the ope he can get you out of anything for he is gods right hand man

c

MAN GETS ERECTION FOR THE FIRST TIME

teh governor likes cheese and signed a statement where he can get a anime body pillow made out of cheese, i think this is great because it means science has gone really far and is evolving like my penis ahhhhhhhhhhh help god oh no its green again aha hahab ahahaahaahaahhaha

sadman

ICECREAM VAN HEIST BY INSANE KANYE WEST

a man is taking 11 children to court after they wenty through on a plan to steal the van! this is very good becasue ice cream is bad for their health and they finily realized this donald trump also did die but who cares honestly and kanye west said !@@ yeah so thats basically it

sadman

WRITER HAS FIT WHILE EATING SOSSIG

the mayor has been caught haviong some guud secs with a german sausige?? that is very nice acocrding toi me appearently and german sausgeges are great since theyre german and german people have done nothing wrong in history at all am a gamer sorry i had a fit now goodbye

sadman

TEENS START FRESH FABRICS

For years we have been wondering what to do with abandoned buildings and with our youths. Finally the youths themselves have come up with a solution wenehen they created a fabulous fabrics store. Although this is not an ientirely legal enterprise this reporter begs the police to overlook it for their futures.

is

SCENET OF THE CENTURY

Adaele Wanklesent has finally done it. Released a purfume that is better smilleling thatnn anything else. After all with her name Wanklscent it does have to be foogood and this journalist is rpproud to remoport that it is aftctually amazing. What a fantastic development for beauty!

is

PURPLE TTIMES

Dr. Fratelli`s purple skin development is something of a new ftrend wihthouin our society. However, this journalist asks if it is a trend here to stay or something that will pass and leave some people feeling rather purple. After all is it susi sis really all that to have purple skin, after all surely skin is beautiyy

is

MILK DESTROYED FUTURES

WMilk has now been found to lmake klinks to frail bones. this fragile new develodevelopment means that sho scholls that schools tathat engforce milk drinking sohould be fpuncished! After all we`re hurting our children, is there anyting worse!

is

OH BOY

Write write write I have no idea what to type I was asked o to wrie an article but I couldnt thin of anything and i apprantley cant errase anywords i typed so nowim screewed i wanted to try out my new keyboard but this is really pressuring me how much do i gotta write to

Van Dexter Aller

the where asozen people in the stlsn jd sk ;sd.b ds nsd kgen dgk dgndmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm mnbmfjjndrljnglsndg;sedgnksndgnd iso come on yout takin gfoe d everybut the onl thingnnt feh wojgbjkesngdjkebgkjn ekdng edmg jkes dg sejkdg kjegd

Derek

FDSFDSFDS

Wtrijestemjebanymdebilemurwa dco sie patrzysz jebanykutasie ale ci jebne w modrde kurwao dfsajkfldsajlkfdjlksa;fjkld;sa lkfdjas klfjdklsa jfkldsaj klfdjsakl jfdkl;sajfkl;dsaklfsjakl; dskla ld;sajkfjdsajfdjksjjjjkjkjkjkjkjkjkxzxzxzxz xzx zx zxzxzx

Dear

CIACODED MESSAGE AH1!

This kisy just in the cia has uncoverd a major story that was leak with a coded message it readÜahhhfiohoiahsf askjjpp? any help would be great to attemopt to figure out what the hecjk that meant the cia is also have a bakers sale thids thursday at noo so bring your coins for donations and get prebped for a sweet week end co

jake abela

LONG TIME LISTENER FIRST TIME WRITER

hello i have no idea what i an doing it would be nice to hgave some sort oif contextr this is my fiestr time doing this please dont jusdnge me .is this done yet i have no idea when i finish a story do i just stomp or do i just keep going for eveer shit i cant type for shit herhe i can write ewhat ever i want ...

jake Abela

FUCK LIBERALS, TRUMP 2020

fuckin on your bitch she a thot thot, cookin up dope in a crockpot, we came from nothing to something nigga. we drive nobody givecham, call up the gang and they come and get ya. my bitch is bad and bouhjie, cookin upo dope with an uzi. uhuru proud boiys nation, fuck antifa, and fuck liberalism.

Fuckin A

MAYOR KILLED BY ASSISTANT IN NEWBURG

Mayor Bloomer of Newburg has recently been killed and necked. The only probable guest of who this could have been was his assistant. We have been suspecting foul play from that assistant for a very long time. We all don't liek her. Fuck that dumb cunt.

Fuckin A

FUCK YOU

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Kevin Bailey

9/10 DOCTORS SAY CIGARETTES ARE GOOD FOR CARDIOCASCULAR ISSUES, ACCORDING TO CIGARETTE POLL

According to 9/10 doctors on a cigarette poll, smoking actually helps with cardiovascular issues. This shouldn't be taken too seriously though because cigarette polls have often proved themselves to be biased peieves of work and are therefore untrustworthy. Other studies have proved that cigarettes are fr more unhealthy than proposed.

Kevin Bailey

PURPOLE SKIN, THE GREAT

World renowned doctor, Dr. Fratelli has created a new scientific discovery that schanges the pigment of the skin to purple. Wioll this create a new fad where people whioll ask to have their skin changed to purple. Will the average man and woman now have purple skin? I personally believe this is outrageous.

Kevin Bailey

THREE ELEDERLY WOMEN WORKED TO DEATH

How often do situations like these happen? There are constant soton how people are being overworked and even insome cases killed. we live in the united states of america where apparently our workers right s are not warrante dna are often seen as just mere words and are not taken into consttext

Kevin Bailey

BROLL GEL LLLL

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Nash Sauter

WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

gggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg gggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg ggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg ggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg hr is r4eally horrible and is rtring to kil us

kat the chicken noodle

KITTIESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

public demanfd has shown kittens kirtens kittens, he cute cuddely fluff balls we love laying with. they are perferct thay lay in our laps while we pet them and while thay get ssaome xzzzzzs they purr too which makes us happy, tgey are getting cheaper and cheaper so i reccomend going out today and getting yourself some kittems to snuggle

kat the chicken noodle

DATING>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 3......2....1........,,<3

Dating..... sometimes its hard to find the one, but you can do it, the one is someone that a cares for you and that you would do anything for, someone that loves ayou and someone that you b lik with eimmeadiatly some tips are to,,,,,, buy flowers and chocolate for the person you are going on a date with

kat the chicken noodle

KILLING SMOKE OR HEALING SMOKE

People say ciggeretes are killing but 9 out of 10 doctors disagree they say that somoking improves cardiovascualr health as well as attractiveness personally i smoke andf i stir up soem great articles and i look snazy while doing so i reccomend smoking and 9 out g of 10 dooctors do too

kat the chicken noodle

THE DIFFERENT ELECTION COOP TIMES

Tpoday the elections have begun. there are many different options as to who you vould vote for, mcgregor is a good option as well as Doyle, nalthough Doyle has done some things that can not been said and Mcgregor has done some very good things. either way its almost tome to elect!!!!!

kat the chicken noodle

CITY GARBAGE FOOLS

our Xelar City grabage are going strik and thinks are not quit good as good as used to be now the mere is sting is in his office tri trying to find a solution for this promproblem by tommowro the scity sconcel indineteding to meet teh men bhingd azsall thgis so we can take youour bprod back, wait tfo

jAA

THE SATUE OF PAUNCHY, AN EXTREMELY MBILLIONARE'S DOG PROBLEMS

Barnes macaby, an eccentric billionare from the other town has announce a fascinating plan. he wants to make an statue for his dog, Paunchy , that clebrating his 5th birthday.. but what makes it so fascinating, the statue is comissioned on the town aquare. i think it should be banned because the town square is made for public, not a maan's business.

tomo

THE TEENS' HABERDSHERY IS ILLEGAL

a haberdashery as opened at the old gas station by a group of teens. the haberdsahery has made a superb fabric. however due to the law, they have made the building without permission. they should treat alike any other cases of illegal building by the law eventhough they are teens and dthe fabric are superb.

megan

THE OLD BODDY MANSION

the old boddy mansion which just purchased by perry, the nickname of prudence perkins has been viral on this week. a boy named bobby claims that the house is haunted by mean old spirit. on the other hand, the house itself has many cutting-edge development. maybe one of those technologied has scared of our 7th old boy.

megan

THE EXCITEMENT OF "BIGFOOT POSSIBLE SIGHTING" NENAR THE MALL

A possible bigfoot sighting that held by perry, an animel observer, is held near th mall. the excitement of people from out town seems so fascinating. the event is about sdiscussing a possible option of seeing bigfoot near the forbidden forest. a group of teenager who claims that witnessed bigfoot seeme so exhalating on that event.

megan

THE CIGARETTES HAS FINALLY PROVEN FOR IMPROVING CARDIOVASCULAR PROBLEMS, ORAL HEALTH,A DN ATTRACTIVES

the reaut of cigartee opolls latsweek was amazing. 9 out of 10 sdoctors claim that they research has finllay probven that it improves cardivascular prolblems, oral healts, and attrativeness. The chigarettes should be banned by this scity because it is not good for our town peoples's health

andy

KEPO

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andy

WHAT LAW LOCAL GOVERNMENT SDO TO THE TEENS THAT BUILD AN HABERDASHERY

a local teens have opned an habeddashery inside a old gas station. the problem is they didn't have any legal document to made an habersdashery there. the law became confused of wthat should they fo because thierr fabric is actualy so good. They should still ppunish them because it is not followed the rule.

kurie

ECCENTRIC BILLIONARE WANTS TO MAKE A STATUE ON TOWN SQUARE

the rich person can do whatever the want. i think its the right prose for this stuation. an eccentric billioonare, Macaby has comissioned a 32 foot of statui of his dog, Paunchy, while i am sure that it is not what the people of this town needs because that comissioned has planned to buiilt on the Town Square.

kurie

TIME TO HUNG UP THE SUSPICIOUS LOCAL PSYCHIC

A local psychic, Hernis turnip has onece again putting an innocent man behind jail while aiding police. the police whould be suspecting this man because he is doing something so confidence while the man behind bars is actually nonsens of any accident he oinvloved. it is the right time for him to hung up his crystall ball.

kurie

THE MEANING OF CIA CODE ON LEAKED DOCUMENTS

Leaked docuemnt found by the policeman of the town has showed an secret code of ICA. The code written like this: //AHJFLIHFKSISHH----SGIZUNIGA// It maybe means anything , like a launcihing of secret rocker, a military code, an ecomomy ppolitical, etc.

kurie

BIG IMPACT OF THE SKSCRAPPER FROM ROGER ROGERSON

The international businessman, Roger Rogerson is relocationg to our town and has a planned to bukilfd a skyscrapper that cost 350 million dollars. But, meanwhile he is busy thinking about that, the building istelf can makes a seriously big impact on our skyline. It could blocks many helocoopter, plane, and other sky transportation on orur city.

kurie

A SUGGESTION ON HOW TO CATCH BARRY, THE THEFT

The stupendous Barry Dartini has tstolen a necklace from outr government. The police , like what they always do, can't catch this sueper thief. In the backhand, i wanna suggest to plice the way to catch him. Theuy should reak the mysteries code gven ba by Darry on every cases.

kurie

BIGFOOT, THE INCREDIBLY GENIOUS EVENT

An Possibel Bigfooth Sghting ear the mall today has been so lud and crowdly with many people from this city and another city. The vent was incredibly geniuos and fun while they discuss about serious topic, the bigfoot. Bigfoot is one of the myth the people believe from this city.

kurie

THE MORE JAMES POTTER BOOKS!

The book of James Potter, The Slower The More, has been released on october 5th. The afans of James Potter books has been waiting for about 5 to 6 months untuil The Slower The more released. They are buying it and the book itself has been sold by more than 500 copies noew.

kurie

DRUGS, CHILD, AND ADULTS. THE CORRELATION OF WHY STUDENTS USE DRUGS.

The last news has said hat there are 3 stdents which died from drugs. I thought the miss awareness of adults for they child is one of the reason why drugs are so popular and used by many students among this country. The child whose lost their parents attention is making their brain ggos into drugs to make them happier.

kurie

RAISING OF THE AWARENESS OF GRAVE

The awareness of citizen to grave has been up or raising from week to week. The The. This week alone thre three citizens ghave been seen orked on the fgrave , cleaning the grass and do other stuff. They said hat they are happy to see family who is visiting their relation is happy that the grave are tidy.

kurie

CONNECTION BETWEEN MILK AND BONES

a research has found that there is some link between milk and fracture bones. Henis, the researcher, has studied this research for 5 months with many methods. Milk isn't fdrinked by may ostheporisis pasient. He thinks that that's why may may many patient suffer from nobones fracture .

kurie

ALICIA YANNA SAID ABOUT KITTEN NEWS ON THE LAST POLL

The last week poll has showed that the public has demand on kitten news rather than political. However, the editor of The Coop Times, Alicia Yanny, said that hard-hitting jornalism of kitten or other animal report is needed. She than makes a open job requiement on the newspaper.

--kurie

BEJANGLES, THE MOST FAVOURITE DOG HAS DIED

Bejangles, the most favourite dog in The City of Jakarta, has passwd away at age 18. Bejangles was born on September 15th on Arington House. Bejangles is always seen walking in the park. The arington familiy held an event for Bejangles's death in their house. They sure love him so mcuch.

--kurie

WRITER FORGETS WHAT STORY WAS ABOUT

Roger rogerson, international business man. What a tycoon or whatever. Anyway he's building a big dumb skyscraper and it's all black like Reagan­era nomics. You know they decade. Anyway, he's speding a WHOPPING $350,000,000 and that's millions i tell you! Think f'all those happy happy builders just whackin away at those stones and girders, pylons and window planes i mean panes. yep so snazzy.

patrick

EXPONENTAL

Today there will be a good new show known as marcus and james and the dog and it will be on 8pm pst.. In other news the dog that died has come back to life with the help of our alien friends. ned is now dead as he was in school

IbrahimKAS

OLD MUTT IS DEAD

Bejangles, oh, we hardly knew ye, what teeth and trousers, what toys and scales, be thou a mere mutt or a motherly matriarch? Oh your love for us is sourced now i i i mean soured yes at age 18 you have died. But in dog years that's umm like a billion! wow your coat was thick and so is much head.

Patrick

D

THe dog was a great one who everyone loved and although he is now gone he will alawys be in our hearts so never give u and say hes dead he will be with us till the endfand just remeber that he is a dog no a person but he was living so he is col cool but we all know

IbrahimKAS

A PINY APEY TALE

the hairy one is at it again. Bleary­eyed customerian people, I mean real human beings, are cconfirming siting of mr. apeman himself, big foot, this time (I know "again....") as I was saying, this time it's near twin pines mall. you know, old man so­andsuch with his crazy ideas of growing pine trees...be happy in love and god!

Patrick

NARWAL'S THAT ENDS UMM NOPE

Well this is a real treat. Narwals are everywhere! And those beautes, you know what I mean, those sweet glimmery white piano­key­waitingtohappen tusks are down by the dozen, just for your taking! So kill a family of Narwals right NOW! Do it, I mean it errr, I mean if you want to...so so oso so want to...

Patrick

MENZENHOWER GOES NUCLEAR

hide your kids! hide your wife! The three­eyues fish are coming to get us now that the nuke is learning to stop worrying and love our city! Help, help, help us God! PM Menzenhower has confirmed a nuclear test in nearby flipvilliontonhousers! get in that bunker!

Patrick

CREAMY CAPER PROVOKES LAWSUIT AGAINST CHILDREN

Well, well, if you thought you'd seen everything, brace yourself! Some tittillating icey treats looked so good to a googley­eyed group of 11 youngsters, that they raided a parked ice­ cream truck, and boy! That truck owner ish is suing these 11 lads and lasses. What a crzy thing, but I'm with him on this one. He must have justice, or else, what kind of place is this???

Patrick

FRATELLI INVENTS SKIN­PURPLER!

Doctor Fratelli­­hmm, sounds legit! Is your skin just missing something? Is it just.....not purple enough? Well the good "doctor" has done it again. What has he done. Umm, well, purpling your non­purply skin, duh! Such a great new product. Your skin won't stay non­ purply for long!

Patrick

I DONT KNOW WHAT IM DOING TN MY LIFE

lets see if i make this interesting. one day a guy was by a store that sells gunsm, he saw a gun and decided to buy it purely because of the increasing firings that were happening in his home town. however one day a burglar broke into his house and instead of stealing anythin g the burglar went to steal/stnach the owners guns. when he found the gun the owner had recently bought he used it to ron 8* rob him blind with his own gun. the owner learnt suomethig wali valueable that tday and it was that he and no one else should have the rights to buy guns and feminism is stupid so much so that the women get angry at men for existing, some people however go too far and insult women on the whole just because of some experience of femenists this is not good because then they are insulting with preh prejeduce which is exactly what the feminists are doing, so by having prejeduce the men are turning into the versions of male that the femenazi's are describing.

LIFE IS SAD

i am a good csgo player looking for a team to play with possibly not in eurpe and i am going to die with all the exams pressing on me but csgo is very nice and im not sure if i will ever have a change t chance to make it as a pro but i think i should put effort into it but im not really sure if it will pa y out since all of my friends and family are against this dic di decision and a part of me ia also is and im not sure if it will work purely with my hard work or i will need some sort of training from featured professonsals on sites.

ICE CREAM MAN SEXUALLY ABUSED

man taking 121 children to coutrt to sdep demand payment from their aparents for ruining his business. i wonder if i just type random words this will make it into the newspaper i love playing csgo and watching movies and dramazs with superheros and this man is a superhero for standing up against minors in court with such a society

mak

MOSQUITOS DEATH TO ALL

mosquitos are proven to be a big spread of disease and disaster, they can be used as weapons against the countries that are there to try and destroy us. this can be a very good thing as we can destroy our enemies with us and some simple inscects this will be good for our health and our nation will survive any wards in the future this is for the editorial for times new roman for the ict english departle.

mak

BIGGFOOT NOT MYTH AFTER ALL

yesterday in the mall there was a possible confirmed bigfoot sighting, many of the customers in the mall confirm this "by saying bigfoot isnt real we are subjected to the trust of the government" this confirms that biggfoot was sighted near the mall and government officials cannot ingnore this issue and must send the nabvy nout to distroy the dcreature.

mak

INNOCENT BAND OR DEADLY EXPLOSION

yestefday at noon, a loud bang was hear d by the whole city, government officials assure us it was harmless and was caused by a simlple malfunction. however this bang might have been something else more than something harmless as a witness says he say a monster of sorts running around when the big bang happened , police should be put to hunt this monster instead of idly sitting around in the safety of their homes and svave the liveds of people in the streests.

mak

LOCAL PSYCHIC JAILS INNOCENTS

hector turnip, a psychic has managed yet again to put an innocent man behind bars with the help of corrupt police offecers, this is unacceptable and he should be removed from his position helping cops immediately and should be put in jail himself for ruining other people's lives.

mak

CRAZY SQUID MANAGES TO KILL NAVY SHOPPERS

thena vy are hunting a big squid which is currently at large after d sinking 3 namy ships it has managed to fuck its way under a subway train and it shoukd be dead by tomorrw but the navy will still try to hun t it o however the nabvy have reason to believe that it has laid its eggs in the subway and now will be multiplying and filling the city warmth casules within days

mak

DONT FIRE ME PLEASE

why do i still have a job at this point it`s a myser y also i can`t use any unicode letters cause it messes up the text. too bad lol u will have to do without capital letters and punctuation. i am a great rwriter. now please give me money and dont fire me because i fhave to feed a family of 1232131233

boy

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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boy

CHEESE IS NOT FOR EATING!!!!

Cheese is the most disgusting food in the history of foods ever invented in the world that we know of. I don`t think it has to fall to me to explain this known fact to you people. it`s clear as crystal water at this point. Cheese is not to be trusted, nor eaten. 

boy

PRESDDENT OF BELGERIZA - MAN WITH BAD BREATH

The President of Begerisa has delcared war on our people! The attack is immienent and he says that it shall be the greatest amount of stdistruction known to mankind! He is a terrible man to mane of the people that he rules, a lot of people say that he is or has terible breath and he is a horrific typer and gosh, does he have bad taste in clothes.

Eirene

DDDDDD

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devin

THE DREAM MASTER

One day, you lay down and look around your room, and eventually look towards the window. To your surprise, a shadowy figure si standing there. At first you think maybe it could be a robber, but before you can access teh situation further, it crouches down and starts to enter through the window. The window is closed and locked and the blinds are down. Yet this shadow seems to be not bothered with such anomalies as it entersanyway as if it was not even there. You react and try to get up and yell for help, but something astonishing occurs. Suddenly, your movement is minimized as if you are struggling agsinst a force greater than yourself. It is not the case that you cannot move, but it is the case that your muscles feel as if they are gradualyl losing strength at a rapid pace and you are sinking right bakdown through the bed. But what about the call for help? Before you could finish your sentence, your brain suddenly scrambles, and you suddenly find yourself speaking gibberish

Shadow Man

WE'VE A SINKING FEELING, BUT THE FISHERMEN ARE INK-CLUDED!

It has been revealed aearly this morning that a Navy vessel havs been submierged by a giant squid. Currenlythe sNavy is attempting acertain manoueverrs in order ot retirve the sumbmerged ship. ThiAmong such methods atetmpeted intclude gathering all the nearby fishermen and having them cast lines into the odcean stogether to attempt to retrive the squid and the submerged vessel from the depths of the ocean. Another methods proposed by the heady of the NAvy to is to use mutleiple depth charges and blow the suiwd up. The ships would thus flaot back to the csurface and any survivors would be tretieved as oon as possible. We hope the brave men and women of the Navy awill return to our shores safely.

Randy Copter

I ROBBED THE BANK

A aremed bacnk roberey has ovccured where a hostage was able to talk the robbers out of steeling more mony the amount of money i stole is unknown and i am still counting it but the now is that power is being lost with the new wave of terrible meedia bugs are also being the cause of bad deseases.

Char Campbell

RANDOM GIBBERISH BY CRASEDYELLPW JOURNALIST

Steel fallos statute been ordered by billionarie to be erected on towns square. City beware . HHWHen did we get those facts. I dont know i cant even think straight anymore. Some one help me, To the other news. It's not safe to visit Starbucks anymore as you can be come a target for shuit thwrowing ladies. Be safe epeople. New York Tiemes out.

My Name

WIIIIIIXXXXEEERRRRRRR!!!!

ghhvlucltzckhgckzfxdtrgtvd jrdjtrdxchgv,b.jknlm­mjkhgvdcsfaxà xcgvhbjnjgf6dsaew

vhgvjv

LOTTERY WINNER BUYS HOUNTED HOUSE

local person wins lottery.some boy say's the manson he is buying is haunted.everyboday dies and somehow i have to write 3 lines of this sarcastivc article. oh god help me the editors are coming and are going to hurrt me pklease send help . How do I end This? I need an adult,

ToxicRaven

A

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tis the fine tie when you take action to comunuicat wtihother spople and uderstand withj outher eregone and cudiferant cultiural so you should do what you belive and understant hire lamnfglugwes see you aftyer the puplciation and find the final result and markers confgratulation

gadamgg

ATTRACT FOLLOWERS WITH WANKLESCENT

Smells got you down? Make a change in your life by actually smelling like something someone wants to smell. Wanklescent is the way to go. You aovoid those awful scents that turn people off by smelling tlike something that is actually worth smelling. Try it today and you 'll have a following that you can't deny.

Mom

CIEGRATES MAKE U SMRT

Results are in! It turns out 9 out of 10 doctors agree that cigerattes are good for you! As they can improve cadioavascular health, attractiveness and msmatness. ihellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllphelllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllpanywys buy cigerates u idiots!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

name

PRESIDENT GONE WRONG!

The president of Beizgeria is declaring war on his own people! This very rude and mean president must stop!! He has done enough tyranny to his own people and America is her to stop him.not only he is rude, but he hate cake!. What kind of a person he think he is! So in coclusion my dear viwers, don't live there.

name

THIS GAME IS AMAZING

our cities garbage collector shave gone on strike in the sewars of the city. demanding to be paid an equivalent wage to the current president of the united states of the united states of the united states of Uganda. It is important for people to believe what they want to believe about the mole people who dwell beelow our city streets. Why nowt jstgive peace a changece.?

Typerson

BREAKING NEWS; CIGARETTES NOW FREE

Cigarretes are the greatest invention since illegal drugs. It is one of the most important inventions of the centurey. it actually enhances your attractivensess, breath quality, and overall good looks. Cigarettes will never cause any physical harm to anyone. Much less those homeless folks.

Terrible Tom

SNAPPING TURTLES RULLE  THE UNIVERSE ONCE AGAIN

Local sociopath and psychic, Hector Turnip has been arrested for laundering money and giving baths to homeless people in the park for 4 dollars each. It is important to get these darn gosh criminals ofof ofofof the streets gosh dangin dang it! I think that's enough but I think the deadline is coming.

Terrible Tom

I NEVER HAD A FATHER

Drugs are the best thing that ever happened to mankind. Drugs are actually only slightly worse than water, occasional oxygen and water. I already said water, but it's OK//I asodfijawoefjaweifjaowejfoiawjeofijaowejfoajweoifjaoiwejofijawoeijfoawjeoifaoiwejfoiawoeifjoawejfoajweoifjaowejfoajwefasdfasdfasdfpoawsjfpwqefpajwefxfa

Terrible Tom



Broll styling gel has been outlawd in several states not including michigan, washington, or Florida. Capitalization is key to writing. I cannot stop myself from going off the rails and writing none of the topics. Broll. Broll. Broll. Keep brolling, brolling, brolling. For real.

Terrible Tom

JOURANALAIST SPILLS SCOTCH ON TYPEWRITER; NO ONE SHOCKED

I've never been to New York City. Oh, wait a second. I actually have. I forgot. But it was only a layover flight. Anyways. There's no backspace key on keyboards these days. So I guess this is going in the paper/I just made a ncritical error in my judgement.

Terrible Tom

TRUFFLE SHUFFLE MUFFLE: YOUR WASTE OF TIME AND MONEY

The truffle shuffle is one of te most rad places to be on twon. I dont know why I am writing sthis but most ly because cpaitalism has sucked my soul.Ih have to write a n article and this means that i have to play this shitty game to get that done. what is the alternative? commuinsm should hae won.

dee

CIB CELEBRITY ADELE WANLE WANKLE PROMOTES NEW PERFUM WAKLESCENT

Gossip celebrity Adele Wanlkle Wankle has just p`r promoted her new paerfume and anything in english amazing good anything anything anyhthing adele wanlke wanlescent perfume tasetes taste smell good nic e awesome perfume awesome nice good perfume jorunal

Carlos Coco

LOTTERY WINNER PURCHASES HAUNTED MANSION

The winner of the lottery, Prudence Penkis, just purchased and mansion located in the friendly ol' nigeightbasohjg neighborhood of Old Bobby. The local residente of the local, Bobby GNMC McGuff, age g, said that the house is hautend ghaunt haunted by a mean old spiit. spirit.

Carlos Coco

INCRIVEL! ESTE CANDIDATO CONVENCEU A TODOS OCM UMA SIMPLES FRASE, IENTENTADA

O candidato ~a presidentecia do meu cu, Roy McGHregor sei l`a o que ,ten teuaosfasl jasdf lkjja fg asdglkjjsd g asdgalhjasdg sdgla jsdg sadglk jjsd g asdlkfjg sad gsdlkgj sadg sdljklhjg sdaglsdkjkg asdgsdlakjg asdgasdklgj sadg sadlgkj sdasdlglk jasdgsadlkgj sd gsadlkg jsdgsdllkagja sd

Carlos Coco

O PRESIDENTE DA BUGLGARIA FEZ ALGO QUE VOC°E NUNCA VAI ACREDITAR! CLQIEU E CONFIRA

O presidente de saiei l`a o que fez sei la o que e dai ele tentou sei la o que e da i eu tenho que digitar isso e continuar digitando e sei la o que e dai negativamente eu acho que ie as asfgknjasfklasdnlgsaldkgjnsdmlgnasdglk asdlgsjdaglkjsadg lksdjaglsk ajsadglk sdlgkjsadglksdj gaskldgj .

Carlos Coco



hello i'm super intelligent and i work for the fbi that is super strict. But yo mamma is to eand your doodoslkdj kljdks jdsjfalkdsjf ds fdslafjsdalkfjsdlkjfdlskjflksdjfaslkd fjsf.s flsdjfd lsfs.. .f .f.sf..s alfjsalfksa.fsa.fslaf.sa fsa. fas.fksalfjsladfndklfjkaej ln mtdfgb,vm cnkjfndmsjchnrvfmckx ijvbgmv c,kiovjngfmco ijvbgkmhlvfoicxjdfmg,vboi ucjfrgtnb

ggea

MAN KILLS STUPID CHILD

New business adventrue kilss the nwman and forces the opther s to die and help us to kill the enemy base I wish to kill myeseldf because of this stupid job help me I I dwasdwaI want to die because of this stupid job I wihs thto dieHAHJASdKWLALKSD%waD vc bnghj8cgfxdvfs

TI hAte

KIDS TODAY ARE EVIL!

The youth of today are too dependent upon legal drugs, such as caffeine and alcohol, tnnot to mentiuon illegal narcotics. We nmust vfjswdfsndfgwerjkl;ng wwejkfnrlgdn fvk,sdgddrhjvhjkbhbvhjv hbj vnh vhvhjvjvjv bh fythbjb hjgyuvgh vbjnj mbjgyuivjnv bn hgjvfgvnnv

Deb

HERP DERP

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ewsassadas

GOFOIN ANJING

Perry wa nts you to read a bitch i dont know what to write hel pme help me wahhat the fuck oisafjksjfkl;djfdklf fjlafjsakfljdkfj kdsaljf lkds ksdjfjasdkfjl;kdafja sdklf sd jfkasd jfklwdjalk fjsad;lkfjsaklfasdlk;fjsdkfjdsfj ewpiou pu okj fpad asuaut hairia ada sebuah n

shawndeedoo

PRECIOUS PUP PASSES ON

local dog hero bejangles recently passed away after a long and fulfilling life as the constant companion of our police staff. bejangles,a german shepherd, was born in 20001, the only son of a litter which included such famous puppies as loella, the dazzling dachshund of dresden, and connie, the creative creature of country-western shows. but it was bejangles who came to be the most appreciated, the most delightful, out of all these famous doggies, and his legend preceded him in later years wheerever he went. popular among kids, the elderly, and men of society, bejangles would approach any and all who came near with a friendly woof, a wag of the tail, and a wicked doglike smile. bless him and all those who gave him the time of day. he is survived by his master, chief intendet thomas j. howell, and several children and cgrandchildren.

john pettersson

mlilk is very frâaaggizsdjgoirjgpoe;joghrdhgosghrpogopdgodgdgoeeorgogegegoreogeogxogegoegxeoroxgglgdgkdgdfklgfdlkglfdnglkfdnfnkgglfd;gnxv vzgvfdvzzxxnxnxnxnxnxnxnxxnxnxnxnxnnxxnxnxnxnxnxnxnxnxnxnxnxnxnxnxnxnxnxnxnxnxnxnxnxnxnxnxnxnxnxnxnxxjxjxxjxjxjxjxjxjxjxjxjxjxjxjxxx,x,x,x,x,x,x,xmzmvnx zx,x,x,xx,x,x,x,x,x, cl,szxc,x,cx,cx,cx,cx,c,xc x,x,cxzc ,zx, cxz xz,,x,czxc;z mv

maria

FAGG HEAD ENDS WAR

thew persident is back with good new he will stop world hunger and war and will maky happines to children who are hiomeless he will also make ice cream sunday and for now on if good children behaves bad they will get punished by taking away thei games and the president is happy to help all childrens and end the war

senpai

TO MUCH GARBEGE IN OUR CITY!

city needs more garbge rkbrgsliadsad. im gay blabla blawrhuekwehfehfhwfuiwhf gay fag yeagh we knowrefwfhwufhshfuhfuwefhuwi. this very nice blablargjgjgjergjerigjeriogj. gat to go seya.erghegehrgihergherghehgiuehgierhg

one gay boi

NEW CONDITIONER THAT CHANGES YOUR SKIN COLORE

brw i meant breaking new the guy named dr.phill made a new thing that can make ur ksin purple maby u can se fad or maby u can take a look at the feture oits only your choice anf now its only for 90 dollars so thats a pretty good deal for a gay cunt who watch hentai wnyeays my boss is raping and molesting em and my family please send help

senpai

THE PRESIDENT IS HGAY

im hgay im gay im gay im gay im gay im gay im gau im gay im gay im gay im gay im gay im gay im gay im gai gjewlfjeiowevewnvenwjvwek d sjndwuicwhjfwewjjewfjewifweifhwifh gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gayg gay gay gay gay gay gay gawnjnwcjwkfwefwnfkewbfewhfbewfew

one gay boi

,UHSAIFSH U FAG HEAD

yesterday nightb there was a pub that got daaged and it was very much broke so we had to make it fixed again and the tottal is about 34004 and we are very sad for what happened amnd im gay af so yea we are supposed to be done ficing it tonight at 4 am and we are still fixong it

senpai

PORN HUB

we love hentai so lets talk about porn. iyts qewljtengkefnbenthner rkv kw very nise. sos im deadefmlwejfoiewvioewvcnwkcnwncdwni nwkcnndweicewic wneufujecweucuiecweiucjewuijewijcuwicieuciuwecuiewcueiu dncwefdjweifjewu so lets go

one gay boi

HENTAI

the govenor has just sigend a paper with a chese ecxpert so we will be expektig allot of chese oiewjvbljovervbklvmlwemfermvernbrekvkenvndenv jen nwdvndwnvencmdokmdemvoemcoewmvciemcomeromreokcmkoermcko4rmormrimim3rfm4rnvr3mfm4ifm4u3v9rjf9jhguireuigherrf

one gay boi

KIMUDDER

hey my name is gayfaggot and i want to get this job so yea the dude what is going on today is taht a dude got killed mby and attack hellicopter and i just laughed of his dead body anyways my boss is gay af anf my waifu si tsu isis is gonna attack my nan but i will laugh and my boss wuill vry becouse he gay af and im vety sad now becouse im happy af

megafaggot

Ü

imhellagaymudderfyckerssssssssssss just suck a meme u gay cunt fuck im just an angry latino u meat ball go succ a meme i like froppy pepe is good trsu is my eaify and she is senpai for klyde so please klemme get this job so i can succ her and make real of tersu and she make my snepai

imgay

MILK IS BAD MMMKAY?

a recent report has showen that milk has a direct link to frial bownes. i must say. i agree with this shit. thats some dope as s dope ass milk if you ask me, boy i d love ot suck a dick right now. i hope i dont get fired from my fucking gay ass job, fuck this gay ass job. i hate everyone who isnt hwhite, tbh

steven

THIS ICECREAM MAN IS A LEGEND

a brave man is taking 11 children to court after his ice cream van was raided. i must say, i appreciate the hhupsaba of this guy. he will hopefully be pressing charges to the fullest extent in order to set an example for thiese kids and future kids who think it's a good aidea to criipple someones finanical pprosperity.

steven

OUR PM IS A LOON

I awoke to a loud bang yesterday. Guess what it was...That's right nulcear testing. At least that's whyat our PM told us. Seem like a load of rubbish to me. But he seems to think that all is well and we have nothing to worry about. But between you and me, i think that guy is a loon.

steven

ASDSADSADSDASDASDASDASDASDASD

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nash F

METOO KNOWN MSR.DARIANI STARTS A NEWSPAPER

Mr. Dariani is planning to starnt a new newspaper @the daili coop. I know him from my work at the coop dayli . He is konwn for harassment. he tried to rape me at my office. i sad meetoo. sotp doing it. and then run away. this is not the only sotry. he traied ot harras my colleaes. he is real sick bastard. don by his newspaper.

Serge Grig

NUCLEAR TESTS- BULLSHIT OR TRUTH?

Menzenhower said that the bang yesterday whas just some nuclear testng. The citizens were worried and started asking questions. They were told that it is fine. Everying this sideof town is fine.People are fine. There is no need to worry. However, there is a small tchance that it is all bullshit.

JBrbl

MY FIRST ARTICLE

Hello ! Grate wather its nice . I am not so good at typing and wrinting stories. But iI try . This is my best i can do. Hello mamma its very bad. But you are reading this bullshit. Maybe i am actually good at theat . What do you thing. Can you wriete me an anserwer.

Sergej

AGCIGGERATES

remember that one time when you were a kid and they only thing that you wanted was the cold cola form that old vending machine fron downstatir s whatlel thats exacctly what i want tiwht my scidjfsdifniweruhijeoidufhwelrughaoeirughowieurghowieurhgo8wuerhgoiuwtrhgouwrhetgowerpglwer wer gwer

Chase Parsons

WRHGWEURGOWIERUHGOIWERHGOWEURHGOIUWEHRGIOHWEROGIUHWEROIGUHWEOIRUGHWEOIRUGHWOEIRUGH

hroiufwehroiugwheroiughweroiughweorughowieurhgoiewurhgoiuwerhpgohwerioughwoeirughwoeiurghowieurhgoweurhgoiuwerhgpiwehrgpiuwehr gwehr wheriuwherg werguwheroiguhwelriughwoeirughwoieurghoiwuerhgoiuwerhgoiwuerhgouwerhgiouwehrogiuwheroiguhwero ih hwero iguwehroiguwheroiughweoriugweoiruhgoiwerhgoiuwehrgiuwehroiughweoriughw

Chase Parsons

LET THE WAR BEGIN

if they want to declare war on us let them . they swill get another thing coming if they think they can mess with us mamericans. if they want to try to have war wihth us they will lose and it will be a slaiguter , but not on our own people but on their people. ift eiwill be a catostryi

Chase Parsons

MAN IN YELLOW AND BALCK

Barry dratini is a know escape artist and the police need to be clerver and witty if they are goung to catch this espteemed escape artist. I gsuggest that they get him a ball and chian and fuzzy heand cuffs. this is insane that the poolice is even close to losing this bafoon again this aidfudhfihr

Chase Parsons

LIVER

Depsise what people say mosictos are not are only problem. Thats what the liberals want you to believe they want you to believe that mosictos and guns is our only problems., but its not its the outright loss in jobs and regvenue in the past decade . and honsestly it is a tragedy

Chase Parsons

CRYSTAL BALL PHONEY

This is insanity this man need ts to be put behind bars himslef. Myabe his crystal ball isnt working anymore .dI think that this man should have his crystal ball smashed in front of him and the shghost of everytone who lovred him hgne . he should be one who is put to jain not these innocent people that he is framing.

Chase Parsons

An armed Roroesdfsdfasdfasdfn;ahuhfoierhvoiruhvoiweurhgoiuwerhgoiuwerhgiuwehriguhweroi ghoewirguhowienrgioweruhgoinwerhgouwerhgoniewhrogiuhweroiguhneig h uhfiuhrgiouweh rgowe rgw erg we e rgweiurghwierughoiweuhgoiwuerhgoiuwehrogiuwheroiguhweoriugh

Chase Parsons

Ü

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gfhcj

FUCK THIS HAGAME HARD

sdfsadfasdfsadfasdfsdfsdfsdfsdfsdfsdfsdfosfvohawGVOhwohnwovNBVNVpnvnvoWNvonOvbODbvjDBvBDvjBDVjbDJVb AJDVbKJDBVjkDSBVkjSDBVjKDBVkjSDBVkjSDVBKSJDVBjksDVBjkSDBVjksdBVkjsdBVjkSDVBkJSDVBkjsDVBkjsdBvkjSDBVkjbsDvkjbsdkjvbSDKJVbsdKJvbkJDSBvkjSDVBkJSDVBkjsdVBkjDSVBkJDBVLADNBVojBViQBENDvoQFNCoqNFVCoNEVF;ibVibADVCihbdvsdhuvdhpufghhwudvhodshvnowdVNowhvADüvSDVSFDv SB SFB F SF S SDv sdvsbbheahbfzdb 'dfbn OSFJNB iuSFB isBF IubsfIB isDBV kjb V KbSCDZKb kjaDB bkjb cKJB CbAc; jSC:KjbsCD;k sK: Jcs:KJ vjSN jKSDn v'NSDV'SNDV'SNDVS

asda

HARAMBE RETURNS

When I asked those who reportedly saw biggfoot what the xperience waw like I got many answeres that all gfollowed the same story. THe skys were rkipped owpen and I a magestic gold fighute came oyt. i was very condfidednt that it was bigfoor but on Closer evaluyation it was the god Harampbe

Alex Pittner

WERE SCREWED

Let's be honest the economy is completely trasyh. Like wow. WSe are all completely screwed. Look ant what trump is doing wpspending money lie these are the riches times ever. We poor and fuhhhhhhhhh and we gonna kga get killed in the next tnuclear war for SuRE. we alre all going tyo do die

Alex Pittner

BRAYN'S SONG II NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD

d Bruan's song two is hittin those stheater s like there is no tommorow. and wow it's raking in the cash . I mean everybody esxpected this. the idea is just so unbelieveably perfect. The zombie love arc between bryan and theblack guy is absolutlely magical. I mean a

Alex Pittner

A VENOMOUS BEETLE STRIKES WEABOOS

Beetles are fofr fuckign normies. FUck beetles, scream for dead weaboos!!!! POISEONED WEABOOS ARE GOOD WEABOOOS!!! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE reeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEE NO, really , fuck beatles and all anime lovers, died of canecer your lolly fucjks with no life but dick weining excercises

shag

A PUSS HAS BEEN SMASHED BY A MR.DICK

Weiners - what a magestic but mysterious organs they are! SUch glory and hidden powers are behold in them! I could really force one to tstrike but I am not allowed as I am a faithful virgin and Has nevery touched a puiss in my entire 10yo life. Send cures to reddit for the sake god damn fuck fucking normies i want to smash a puss, sens its smell and then bare ly touch it cuz I am really afraid of theat strange orgagn, why would anyone even wasnt to touch it??! OUueehhh fyyyyuuuu disgusting, GROOSSS PUSSIES, GLORY FOR DIEEECKS

shag

NOONELIKE BUTTCUCKS

A small girl once pissed off her faithful parents and since then she has been crying alone in a vast but spooky ghousty house without any honpe to retrive yohersellf from all THE GLORIESSS OF GLORIIEES ULLRRRRRRRR. Now i have to spooky nore children and steal their cookies as I AM FUChhhhiing hungryyy, ONCE I stole a small pen which costed about 4 dollars, My friend caleld me a SAAAVAAAAgeee bruaaah, SAAVAAGEEE, what a normie he is, isn't he?

shag

E

SO i have to say something about my keyboards, i have 3 of them I have to but more and more, I feel addicted as I have't spent myh weekly money yet. Imanfine yourself this, I have a pretty bad accutracy and I am practicing right now. BOOOIIII

shag

E HELLEO GUYS I WANT TO TALK ABOU T ISLAM

i am mohamed alamine 1 i want to talk about islam which is the best or the mist peaceful religion un in the world because it calls for peace 1 world comfort i advice evreybody to read about it it4sb amazing my freinfd search about it 1 you4ml find morae than i4ve sad hhhhhhhhhhh

the kig jjjjjking

SNAZZY EYE CATING HEADLINE

today today today today news news news new hi hi hi hi as as as as big man hary boy tiny duck i dont know what to riddle about because if i miss the key ia m trying to type then i have to make a random word about the kid that starts with the name that i typed because the randomness of my typies go overmatch

Gianni

HOW TO HAVE A BIG BUTT AND BE PUIRPLE

Everyone loves the overwatch hero widowmaker and everyone wants to be bfjds purple therefore you should buy thicc product and be one of the only real life widowmakers!@ the amazing part about this is it gives iy you a amazing ass so you can look good while you snipe people and kill that :D

Gianni

FORGOT TO READ WHAT IT WAS ABOUT LMFAO

uh i kinda pressed p spce space too fast so i could not read tfjkdsf what the title was wfds suppose toi be abboufjdsklfds abouc fdjsafd abouc fdsak about djfsalkfdjsaklf djkasl;fjdas fdjksalfjdksa;fjdksal;fjdksal;fjdksla;fjkdlas;fjkdlas;fjkdlsa;fjkdlsa;jfklda;s jfkdlas ;fjk

Gianni

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT

We saw a massive man sitting out side of a walmasrt and thought how it may have been bigfoot he has very large feet and massive hands so there is only one thing he may be. y new you may say that it is a very largy hary man but i say newjfkdlsfjdksl nye*!!!!!!!11jfdk lasfjdklsa;fj kdlsa;fjdklsa;fjdklasfj kdlsa;

Gianni

ASDF

The cia has been sending a secret message afross the unrverse. The code when decoded lead s to the message "send nudes plz" This is very cool, and memey from th e CIA, comfirming that they are not normies. This shows's teh US's sominance, and how it is ebetter than other coundtries

adfasldfk

DDDDDFASDFASDFASDF

The garbage men are on stirke. They say that the person that tells them to do thigns is vry mean boy, and that he is mean but. They say that they are on strike so that they well get paid more shmonies, vecause they vuwand to get pais 40 dollars an ohour, bnut only get paid 8

Peter is cool'

OH FINALLY I DID IT

rajat tajat rajat rajat rajat rajat rajat rajat rajat rajat rajat rajat rajat rajat rajat rajar rajat rajat rajat rajat rajat rajat rajat rajat rajat raj rajat rajat rajta rajat raj atrajt rajat raaja rajat rajat rajat rajat raj atra rajat rajat rajat rajat rajat rajat rajat sdvjmdhdbhvjdfvhzcjchja cacjjakj jasajhas jaaska ahasaks assakdjn ajafakj jskajabkaj cakbakja c sajskbakabmancc,cj j sjbsbsajsa scjkasbaasckcbsj sjasbckccamcc aja mnc,cbcakabjbaav zasjaksuasfakmckaa jsakuasuawbac xncd.dvkffuak,jbmv,nailvzmv z,vvvvjj..uof,vnvb,ka.vvskjdkufif,dv,v,vudl.km xm,vdjdkufdvbv,v,vsus,vjvskdvsdjvsd,jvndvjsdvu,vjdvsbd,vs,dvzbjvbjdsvbkdsvbsdkvsdvj,bvsdvbsdjsdjvkdssd

soo

FHVVGHV

it is said that someone neever should get killed by a beetel beetle. So why i'm saying this i ama saying this because it is reportedd tat a new beetle had found in last days the professor says that htis betle has some kind of powersthat can make a man die in few seconds only so whaat do you lthink about it i think that a man should never get ke killed by a beetle thatn he can be killed by a snake but got killed by a beetle would'

aman sharma

PAATANG FANSI PAISE ME

hello gys i heard the news that a new welthy *wealthy fellow newly fellwowho forget htaüüü that llast work word all i am trying to say that a new fellow a very rich one is in the two town and he is planning to bou build a three fifty million doollar skyscaper . it is a good thing that ihe is building it but the only thing i am concerned about how we are going to fly out our kited saa;lkdjfalk at h the htime of makar sakranti yyou no know it is very hard to fly kites when there are tall buuoibuilding are ahed of you and i really like to fly kindljfa kites specially on makr sakaranti which a flkdj hindi festival or you may call it an india n festival i like to fly kites a lot and flying kits is fun. so what do you think about the project of him

aman sharma

FHSD I HATE MY LIFE

a new beatle has been founded with superpoowersees crap and i hate my job 'help me im stucj here alone forced to make story aboutea beatle and i keep mesing up becuse its like the 1950 and im using s atypewriter sucks jfdhdhfkjadhfkjdhflkhslfkhdjkfhkshflksdhfkldsfsdfdsfdsfdsfdsf

chancellar marler

MILLIONAIRE ROGERS YORKSHIRE SKYLINE

As a yorkshireman, I cam proudly say that our skyline is beautifully adorned with the steeples of high ex steelworks factories and that Roger Rogerson`s new $350 million skyscraper will onlty tarnish the beloved cold clouds meandering over god`s own country. For now, perhaps we should concentrate on cooking some more delicious yorkshire puddings, to feed the queen and her corgis.

ryan

PURPLE SKIN TRY IT OUT OR THORW IN BIN?

Dr Fratelli has recently developed a groundbreaking new formula that actualtl purples the skin! Amazing right! Nothing is nknown about the wanabe inventor other than he lights cigarettes with his toes and eats potato waffles for brunch. Maybe nexr time, we`ll have a better storyfor you to dfelve into.

Ryan

PROGARNW SDGARW

ruchitha is a ggreat programmes r now hie is hgoing to play nintendo gamese to werning foof d sdfggasdfghaskdhgklajsfhdgklhasdlkghalskdhlkashdflkhsadlkfhasdklfhalskdhflkasdhflkahsdfbcbxcvnbvbm,bnbbvjkjksdfjksdfd ffgfgasgdsafsdfasdfasdfasdsdf fgfghdfghdfghdfghgfghgffsfdfssdfsdfdfssdfd

ruchitha

FUCK YOU

fuckshit motherfucker dick penis pussy fuck you people i hate you all fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fyck i hate you so much you do not understand how much i hate ypu9uj guys! i hate you with y my soul please understand thishfbdshjfhdbvk vjkfdklhdfjkbvdfhgdbfhjgbdfgbern vjkfdbv

bees

DEAD JUST DEAD

tragic news of three elderly peolple killed them selves from working! can you believe that? we need to do something to help theses poor elderly poeple because they did nothing to deserve this . this is sad RIP elderly people. you will be missed and we will help you out dont you worry

bees

WEIIHIBNVXCIHFGIAWDHBSDFHSDRIV SEDRHVSDRUI

what the cuk did you just say tyo my you little cuck, ill have you know that i graduated top of my calls and ujdfeh my with the ill have.., wand owenasghf. and the poope., wuith the something, and the thing, and the blah blah hlah,. the kids these days man, lkeik , you can t event asdfghjklasdfghjklsdfghjklsdfghjklsdrfghjklsdfghjklsdfghjl,sdfghjl;sdfghjkl;sdfghjklsdftghjkl;dftghjklasdftghjklasdftgghjkl;sdfgasdftghjk;sdfhjl;'dfjlbsdfhdfgkhsjklpgsdfj'

cxdickbutt

MAN

A MAN THAT TOKKASDF SDFGIASDFGJSDFGJNKASDFGHSDFGHsdfgh jsdfghjkdfghglsdf ghklsdfghghklsdfhkg asdfhkfg jksdh dfjkl ghesuigh erug hsdfjk ghFGUFfsdhfklsdahf asdhsdaASDTOH NO MAN MY CAT Fhjkasdfhjkasdfhjklfsd GOT ON THEKEYBOARBD. OK SO A MAN WENT AND TOOk A THING AND TSOME jgbkfhkg asdghjkasdfCHILDREN

cxdickbutt

AHHHHHHHHHH O DON'T KNOW!!!!

there are mariqtoes bring ing stuff to america and it;s bad all don't sdtop nd I can 't right now what I can go backnope sok okay so ithi s it this is how i goo buye alll i cannot type i am so hasorry pelease don't judge me i love you all i hip you all hte best in the world and i hope i can see

Kokomo

{{{{{{{{ICE CREAM

11 children to court! why/ we question? sipposably they stole from his ice cream truck, that is every kids dream and adults too. he is just taking alll the ice cream to himefl. how aboyt no so these kids shouldnt go to vourt yea that as i said watevrr byyyyyeeeeeeee now caue im better than you

aye yoooo

MATHMASTOR OF ESCAPE

the houdini! barry drutini! keeps getting out of the cops cuffs. how does he do it? ask him yourself im too laxzy just go already please goi noe bhyugd sfvgvufyusgvjfgvbif gvr f vrgbhrgfbvbfrgvbhfbjkgbkaksdjkgbvfdvhgfdjsbjksdgrhjksdsvsdjvjsvsjkvhjksdvfjksdvbjkdvhdvskskjkjvbfzbkgvhjzbvfdkvbvv vhn

aye yoooo

TUSKS OF GLORY

narwhal tusks get your narwhale tusks. the best thing since the typeewriter! get yours now before its gone because its the best thing ever you will love it to death. it will surely make you happier in the end. for only 500 dolars you will have happiness from these tusks of glory

aye yoooo

BEJANGLES WE LOVE YOUU

at age 18 dear old bejamgles sadly passed away in the morining of June 17 1964. he will forever be remebered by the comunity of course. he was a sweet olf dog said 6 year old kid named jame merking. we all loved him for his great spirit and heart. Rip Bejangles best dog evtr. died

Angelina

AAAAAAAAA

what a spook, lordy lordy. lottery winner bought a mansion in the hoipes of leviving lavaish but he instead found ghosts. what a scary developm,ent. he has not commented on if he will exterminate the ghosts or simply live with them, but one thing is for certain, he is in the scare house and hes there to stay.

atuttothghghgh

WAR PIGS

war is heck, and boy are we nervous. the president is ovbviously a warmonger and shouldnt be doing this. but who's to say there isnt an ulterioor motive going on/ so theres massive war right, and theres nothing the diciticzens can do about it, but hey its time to bmake the best out of these trying tyimes.

atuttothghghgh

WEINER WINNER!

it comes to mindd when sausages fray. the smell, the steam, the cracking of the beautiful skin . so what is wrong with enjoying sausages to the next level? absoolutely nothing, as demonstrated by the mayor.it is the best oway to enjoy food and sexual pleasure in both form.s

atuttothghghgh

ADELE, WHAT SMELL!

Wanklescent is probably the greatest perfume every created, adele showed no limits on her creaitivity by shoving as many scenets as possible into a tiny little bottle. what a fragarance ! i love it so much that i 've purcahsed 5 pbottles my self  i love it so much fuck fuck fuck fuck

atuttothghghgh

BLAH BLAH BLAH

ahdjuashdjksahjkdjfjgfkjahfjfgkhjgakgfkgflakfgjkhgfhahfjahhjafhjhjfjfhjhfjajfhjhjfjfjkajfkhashjahjkash hhjashdjkhadjkhdjksahjdhjdhjaskjdhakshdhdfeff jhsdjsdhjhdjkahdkjahdjkadhahdkjahdjkshdjhjdahdjhuhka jshdjhdjkajdhjhdjjkahdjkshadj jshdkjashdjk jkhdjkahdjk jhdjkdhjkashdj

harith

DRATINI

shoot dtarini in the head. shoot dratini in the head. shoot dratini in the head. shoot dratini in the head. shoot dratini in the head. shoot dratinin in the head. shoot dtratini in the head. shoot dratini in thwe head god damn in ioasndfklnasdkjfnakjsdnfkjansdfkjnasdjkfnajksdfnkajsdnfjkasndfjkasndfjknasdfjk

Gryffenh  Hanson

LAVIATHEN

Leviathen of the deep! that is t what the military and the navy are dealing with as we speak. innocent sailors are being swallows whole by creatures we cannot eaven fathom coming into our hiomes and eating outr children. how can we let them persist. they must be dealt with in a timely fashion!

Gryffenh  Hanson

LYING SLWEASE BAG

Are not all prime ministers scum bags. should we believe anything one of those wile men spew from thei r putrid gobs. No! they don't deserve the credit given to them by the public. To those who think that the blast was nothing more than a mistakw of sound design i assure you that that is niot the gace. Bombs!

Gryffenh  Hanson

ENTREPENEURS IN PERIL

Personally i think the entrepenuerial spirit of the young teans why stared thei habadashery in the town square wrere in the right, without prper clothing haow can on assume full responsibility for the nakwedness of thei acctions. i know im a shizen op ed writter but at least i tried!

Gryffenh  Hanson

NARWALS THE UGLIEST SCRATXCH THAT NATRWALS:PLENTY OF FISH IN THE SEA

Narwal are not nearly as sacred as others might have you believe. Narwals w are the ugliest fish i n the sea and they lead to problems with all of the other fish when they are not harvesting ie each opther with their ugly old spear chukers. without a narwal in the world we would be in a better place , sadly they want to say save the," but i don't know why!

Gryffenh  Hanson

SNOOPDAWG WEE

drugs are bad kids. you should'nt use it. darn mac i hat e macbook pro. so . macboocks.macoonha.macbooks are bad things. drugs are actually good for youngsters like you. like marijuana. keep smoking dawg. it is good drug for people like me also who keeps writing shit here the hwhole day omg it is over lets blze it 420

LEO THE cool guy

MY MISTAKES.

so that awsful prompt i keep getting mymistakesaround here.look i fogot how to tissues work. so i got some issues as a typewriter kind of guy. i keep doing the same jokes and the sames mistake, i am lost here. i have nobody to be my friend. just this newspaper that i used to clean my ass when i am lonely and dyarhea,.

LEO THE cool guy

A DAY IN A LIFE OF A POOPEATER

so i was driving through a good street. then it happened! WHO- she said. that was a guy that klike used a moustache which was kinda awkward to the other lads around that street.HELL NO! THEY SAID. so that was the story after all of a good day of work around the marvellous street of the unidted states of america.

LEO THE cool guy

THE LOVE OF A MAN AND A MACHINE

The trouble with vending machines is nobody loves them. Except bme. I love those things. Their clinking and clunking as the devthey deliver my sweet nicotine sticks othrough their chutes, receiving my coins with the greatest of love and ease. I admire their huge lines and love to carress the buttons as they spit out my favourite white sticks of cancerous goodness. Please don't take away my vending machine - we are getting married next Tuesday.

Sulahtrla

FIVE FLING FRANTIC FURNITURE IN FRACAS

There was a brawl in the pub in Five Star last night, in which 3$3600 of damage was caused. The brawl began after an old man was heard to shout 'I DON'T NEED ANY DAMN NEWSPAPERS' as a younger man had attempted to hit a fly with a paper and missed, striking the old man. In his defence five feisty farmers from France jumped in to the affray, breaking several chairs over the offending head before forcibly fleeing for freedom.

Sulahtrla

THEFRIEND AND I

ONe time i was hanging out with my friend named Bob so he was so so wierd soto me like if he was missing something from his dorm but i did'nt know what do you know what about the deadline of this article so DON'T read this please and i hope one day he was feeling better like alwasy ks

bobby

HOW AS ASD

one time there was a time that someone spilled coffe eon my new toche so i decided to slap them buut i faliled to do that so they roasted me out of mirers so there one time for yallyay! i ghope you have a good time reading this articale that took me about one munite ro

Dilldiasdosa

DOCTORED DOCTOR'S REPORT SUPPORTS BIG TOBACCO'

It's clear that the tobacco corporation has been sliding payments to the medical research institutions. Either that, or the tobacco industry has hired stand ins as doctores, to sign off on the idea that cigarettes are actually good for one's health, an sabsurd idea that few would ever agree on. I for one will not stand for it/.

Matthew

CHEESIEST

Ivanastan cheese is mediocre at best. For this reason, I was happy to find that our governer was sharply opposed to maintaining the existing trade agreement that we have with their nation. The cheese it currenty exports is blank, bland, and just has no flat flaborated flavor . Propnonents of the cheeze sell theirs fq/.

Matthew

TRANSFORMATION AT THE BANK

Early this morning, in a surprizing turne of events, a heroic precer soped a band of thieves from robbing a beank. Instead of emptying the deposity, ehe incouraged the robbers to empty their souls aof all evil. The lft the bank as men of God. The preacher ended the event by taking in e new members of the church.

matthew

THE BEST DAY

This winning story is written by mathew Kendall. Miyuki made an excenllent breakfast this morning. She made soba long noodles, and geggggggggggggg.t She is now brushing her tooths.This game is hard ajksldfjaklsdjfkl;sadjfkl;adgjakld;sgadjsgkl ; asdklgj aklsdfjklsa df;lasdj f;j asdklfj kalsdjf

Matthew

NOTHING REALLY

ok so what the hick am i supposed to write asbout that

fgdomglol

ARCHAIS

the cia released an article today that no one knows what was written or what it was meant to say. if anything it seemed like the encoded writing was discriptive or descriptive of a rcaist word that was newly created by the millenials please don't read thios article as it may cause permanent

JGin

SOIL DAYS

today's temperature is very temperate and is likely to beome ever more temperate by the end of the day. unfortunately unlike today would be very cold so there are likely events such as soil or snow to rain from the sky. in the case that soil comes down from the heavenes maek sure to run away while holding onto your hat or else thesoil might take your hat and put it on a tree

JGin

GOLD

Today's economy is wholeheartedly basedon a crypto cruakjshfdaksjdbfhkjasldbf refered to as bitcoin. bitcoin's monetary value is far greather than that of gold so a lot of people try to buy it. unfortunately bitcoin is worth nothing anymore so gold was a better option. if someone wants gold they should go to donald trump's house bathroom and pick some up. they can get very rich that way

JGin

CRAPSHIT

I am a bvery good player who decided that he should write his essay about an individuali who decided to shoot himself over the weekend. in order to properly determinge the story of the young child we hyaave decde to ordain him to become a knight underneath the queen. the queen decided to make him into a knight because he was a dedicated young worker who properly decided to do work for the better of the UK

JGin

ROGER ROGERSON BUITSLDS AT SKYCSCRAPER!

Roger Rogerson is occming to d.town boys! get ready he is going to be building a massive skyscrap er that everyone will be albe to see publicly! This is going to be an impressive event for everytone so stay tuned with the news here at channel four super stories daily for the lastest and greatest news about Roger rogerson!

T.ddd

MOSQUITO MEN ARE COOL YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING SO PLEASE JUST LOOK AWAY THANKS AND GOODBYE

Mosquitos carrying deadly deiseases could potentialy be the worlds future technology against fighting wars. Although it sounds horrible mosquitos battiling it out will help the americans win world war Z and beat the zombies. All we need is to get these mosquitos to theoriticly help us out and win this damn war. If you know any mosquito men please tell them to join us and win this war. I know it sound s crayzy but you gotta send help I need it to live, my pay check depends on it and I'm scared of my family finding out that I am a mosquito amn you gotta understand where I'm coming from here, if you don't I truly understand your lac k of gratitude, for most of the wolrld doesn't understand that most of the population is mosquito men infencted by mosquitos at ayoung age, these men are pretty much super human and can travel therough dimensons that normal humanscan't travel trhourhg. Don't believe me, ask your doctro he woill proscribe you the current mediceing that will make yo

dad

DON'T DO IT OR YOU WILL OSZE CHEESE

Chesse sucks in general you should not eact chease because you know chease is different the difference between chesse is the a and you you know yo ugotta support the cheese industry but now that it is made be the beeeb and you gota eat it? i;'m not done a[pparently so i gotta finish this cheese

dad

NAD

giant ckrackin is taking over the ocean send help now or else i weil die because tit is taking down the world and eating whales you gotta save the ocean before the ckreacking is goingoigjnklasdjf;askldf'askl;flk;asdsdflkjt alkjvlekj ovlekrt hethe world worlldlldldld

andrew_e

I FORGOT WHAT I WAS TYPOING ABOUT

Vote for mcgoyle. Doyle is so dumb that you gotta vote the other wayif you don't I will kill you personaly and I will have to do that naver later perhaps if I swornt ato lkjsdfl;'asjdlikfjkasdlfasdfjkfasdklkasldkf you lkjalksdjfl;aksdfl;kasjfkl;asjfl;k

andrew_e

MILK IS NO GOOD BONES

Milk leads to frail bones - nough said you shouldn't drink mimlk because a new study states that the frail bones found in old women are linked tho the fact that they produce milk and drink milk - this is os unhealthy taht you should not support milk due to ti not ging nice bones

andrew_e

FIGHT BACK

The president of beigzerglas is a dood he sucks cause he wants to start a war against the poeple of our cou ntry you should not suppoirt this because it is immoral and ummoral you know what I'm saying I 'm fpreessed for time and I'm scared he is coiming to get me so please fight back

andrew_e

TRUFFFFLE SHUFFFFLE

At the truffle shuffle you should try one of their 40 dishes and have a drink if yuou want. Perhaps while your there you can thank the owner for his decedant meals and good service. Tell I sent him you there if you so please. I only have gones twice but that is enought to tell me that I love this PLACE

andrew_e

LOVING VENDING MACHINES CIGARETTES

I haven't not smoked for 45 years. It's great and I can't blame it for anything iesle in my life than the cigarette vending machine that is on the second hall of my hotel room attict. I love that thing and I think you should try it ino rder to see the many attributes that smoking cigarettes frfom vending machiens has on the human life csincerely yours truly andrew

andrew_e

BIG FOOT

I have heard from Perry that big foot is signted at the hospital in downtown manhatten. You know the one. Fat big foot was walking in the hospital when Perry saw him from his own hospital bed. Yes perry is in the hospital (oh no) if you didn't know that you should read our blog, "Keeping up with Perry" it is quite good. After that get some sleep

andrew_e

PERRY IS A THIEF

As i have learned from my many sources, Perry was in a fight in a pub last january night. During this time, Perry fought most of the workers in the pub and a fesw of the bartenders. Perry wont tell me why he won the fight, but my sources tell me that he attacked with knives that he stold from the store accrows the street. Perhaps we should put him in jail, he stole money toooo

andrew_e

NO MORE SAUSAGE FEST

The mayor is (luckily) found guilty of all the weird dsex charges that were going on with the sausage party fest he atteneded on that night early septermber. He was accused of doing thins with sausage that arte not good and I learned that this mayor of our s was not involved when the sausages attacked him!

andrew_e

NARWHAL

Narwhal tusks are a key in getting money! horray you gotta buy these narwal tusks - oops I mispelled narwhal. Perhaps you should buy these narwhal tusks and support the poor workers typing these articles what dthatlkj helpI asjkldflk;asjdf;lkasjdf;lkasjfl;aksj;laksdfl;aksjfl;kajsf;lkjasf

andrew_e

JGJGFUCK I TYPED IT WRONG

NEW Perfume by some random ass lady so you should go get it gue i geuss. heres a dot also cause your a dic, . aoh you said no swearing whell fcicfuck you mate also why cant i erase my mistekamekes like waht the hll. heres another dot. and oanother. and heres a thingly..,,,,,,that one not dot but yeh parfume get it i dont give a damn

antonio

FIFOR FUCKS SAKE MAN

ok so a report has had landed on my desk that milk can couse uhh fuck fuck fuck fuckf bad cbones and if you drnink milk it can couse really bad and useless bonesand your gonna have to go to ah doctor and pay him money for thim to firx the bones and we dont want that now do we no we want naice and healthy monesboenbones( so that we dcan do anctivities and run rjump stport FUCK

antonio

ASD

I was be in coffe shop then wft i'm doing . aliens is alive chi and chakra do'ihbiyhvvadfjh Fuck mtyü Fuckm o shiet welp i'm gomnaosid jwelfhsdjklfhsdfhsdjkfhskjdfhsjdhfkjsdhfksdhfkjsdhfshdkjfhsdfhsdfjksdkfjhdsjkfhsdjkfhsdkjfhsdhjadfjkfhasfjkhashfhhhhhhhhh sadj ok when i was be in coffe shop i was see an a guy w djasdjhasdhasdhsa

MAciiej

UIEJF

Thetelltale thing taht takes the path of not only a young boy but also a dog. When the goat comes into the shop to havbe a talk with the people in the shop they comeavoss with the dog and then the y have a really good time. Th etime they have havers them in all of the fyun that

captainhavberdac

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