Monday, 24 September, 1953

BLINDING BEATLEJUICE

The newly discovered Scarab Bettle is raining praise from mnmany so called 'witch doctors', mainly for it's currative a abilities. But how good is it you? asl? Well accoridng to research done by the University of Russia, it appears the extended use of the bettle concoction mixed with snae snake oil cn can and will cause blindness . We urge the general puble public to refrain for from usin gthis mixture, except ofcouse the people who are already blind.

Jack Mulligan

THE NEW WDITOR

how are you doing mate, its beein a pleasure to be with you for motre than a month. AI would like to type something cool baut my typoing errors are being reidiculously overwhelming

Tazius

PICKLES IN SPACE?!

Cia `send weird smessage into outer space! what are they up to? It is highly suspected that government agencies communicate with extraterrestrial forces. While the code has yet to be deciferd , wesuspect the message includes at least one type of recipe for dill pickles. More on this as the story continues.

Linda Gonzpo

NBVNBVCOCK SUCK LOVE

fdjsklfdsjlkfjdslkvcxjlkvjxk fdsjklfsddsjakfdslj sdLKJf dbnsasamaba i liuke your cokck xddxdxdxdxd sasat sadiaradeg bloloh da eto tak sasat lohkfdlkgld;fkg;ldfkgl kfd;lgk ;ldfkg;ldfk;lgdfkg;lk a;lk;lfd k;lfksd;l kf;ldsk f;ldskf ;lsdkf ;lsdkf;ldskF:Kf sfk;ldskf;lkfdskl;dsfkl

dag ad  ('

MAYOR DID NOT SLEEP WITH SAUSAGES

The cal claims of the mayor taking part in unwholesome activitie activities with Germa n sausges sausages is all but true, there exists a large anumber of people who;l'kk whole who'll want to fram frame our wnder wonderfull and wek well respected mayor. We as the general public should wohto wihthold all information until the re is sufficient proff t proof to back this claim up.

Hennry

COOP TIMES BREAKS CIA SECRET

concerned citizens may be wonderingwhat was it that the cia sent out into space this past day and dont you worry folks the pwople at the coop times have you covered .using our state of the art cryptogtraphingntechnology we hav e uncovered the message sent into spave, it was a message to read by aliens from another planet and is a list of neogiations for a trade deal, while thid is all that we ca n unconver at the time we hope that you contine to follow our attempts to decode this secret mesawge

kiewi

MIRACLE IN AN UNEXPECTED PLACE

miracle took place in an unlkikely scenario yesterday mornong when ifsrt national bank was undergoing aj dangerous armed robbery. woting the hostagwss hels was a preacher who risked his lidfe ina n attpet to save the lives of ohters. He oconvinced th erobbers the werros of theor ways and that thay mdt repent,surprsonly the robber anfhad a chanfe o f heart anfdecided to tun themselves aling without harmong any of the hostagws,who lnows what would haev happwnwss if that man wasnt theor tpsave the day.

kiewi

several tenns have been founf running an illegal hbaerdashery in the downtown gas statipon at charles streest . whike thid opperation violates severl laws people are i n an outcry aboiut their potential shutdown, due to theor superb quality of goods,esoecilally injcomaparisnon to local goods.

Kiewi

YEAH OGOT A NEW JOB SO BYE

ok folks my boss o;pened a new restaurna and ewants me to give a good review o hthe place evn though Ive never been there bfore like comin manI dont need thid jjob you need me anf yoi want me t lie to the people like fr $40 dishes thats a huge rip off forj the grabge that ik os being serve dthere

kiewo

MY YOUTUBE IS NO CAR TOPIC

me is good writer. comment like share subscribe and ring th e bell if you like this piece of sheeze. my youtube channel is menotreal. me name bob. im suppose to write about cars. ok. cars , steal, run away. but. not safe. 65% lol,. k byemy name is jeff

ffdderfd

JFKJDFKLJSLFJSKFJDSFJDSLFJ

jdkljaflkjfkjkfjskfjslkjfskjf ciggarete adsfljslkfjslfjlsfjlsjf very good andfsnd fjflj kl skdl fland fa f sf then dfanfmakes afhst ehamonly afnsafweatnstsusftysmdfl dfjsfjkldsjfdsfkjsdlkfjldsjflkdjslfkjdlfjds fd jfk djf d fand the amakes it heeeee shfjda fdsj fksdjfldjfkljdklfjdkfjplease

Lucjan

GEL THAT MAKES EVERYONES HEAIR LOOK LIKE HELL

this new gel that makes your hair super and more wet then gel, ithan the usual gel and its truly amazing, it features the most amazing things in the gel, it is super for weveryone and it feels great and you really should try it it if. you dont you will miss out im telling you

Lucjan

GOODIE MOODIE

DO YO KNOW KNO KWIJFIWJFIJFIJFIWJFWIFJWIFJIWJFIWJFIWFJIWFJIFJWIJFIFJIWJFIJFWIJFIWJFIWJFIWJFIWJFIWJFIWJFIJWI JIJIJIJIJIJI DI YO KNOW that scigarretes improvce yur healht anfd life actulaally i m sdoooinng a sceigegegeaiaarette right now so you get that coop times good bey

i hatre yo

WHAT THE SSS

I PLAY GTA ON MY TCV OBOUT IT DID NOT WORK SO I AM SAD KNOW because i doid not opoop toodaty statistics is good i will get fired tioommmoorroowww so donta be sdasheamrmemfewmgmgmmgmgemwgmremgermgegmgmegmrgmremgermgmrgmregmrmg i0i ii will retire when i stee tur rfaeve

i hatre yo

REBELSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I love gel don't yo? i love gel dont you? i liove gel dont oyu/ ejfeigjsigjrdeas i kieleegrgiiiiii i like trtles cuxzfj eojgreijgor j jggg ee gle oo o lo n my sand whixcjh i yre a i dfight my tipe righter wehat yo gobnna do abot it punk you mad jerkface i m a kill you its my mlcky day scka

i hatre yo

GROTH ON MY NOOB

Hello pepolple today we are talkinig oaobut thing tihat oop ttoegeorrojreojreogergroegorkgeorgkogerkogekgoekgorkgogkeogkgokgreogkerogkeogkerogkreogkreogkerokerogkrk g kork gorkgerokehotkohkrohktohkrtohktrohktrkhtrokrtohktohk ohkk htohkrkho koh ktokhkho khotk rohkrtohktohkrktktrkhrtk htohkrthkotk oh kh ktohktrotk hoktkhtk roktrkhtokhrkhtrohktrohtohkrtokhtohktrhktohkrk oktohkrkhork

i hatre yo

THE COOP ON SCOOP PIDOOP PIDOOP

Hello this i Makisig Arozco i am taking henrys dty today cz he called in sick last evevning today we are talkingn about "fashion tips a nd how to get The One this is a nice tiopic today cxz its two years singe cvaltntines day was here sio

Makisig Orozco

NRJNGRJRGJNRJGNRJGNRJGN]

This is the Cooop Tiomes this is me Maskisig Orozco On duty Today Some one was selling illegaly tusks to am man who is a crazy person , oh tooo kkhofofosofsofosfosfosfooooooo ioo nthis time on todays nice weather oh hey look

Makisig Orozco

This is the cCoop times and today some local teens buitlyt a harberdashery isnside a old gas staition i think it look s nice what do yo think may be the law should do something boyt i think no anyways goodbyre and today im going to do something cool yea poop popp oppooop

Makisig Orozco

HENRY GAVE ME A GALL.

so henry fphoned me todauy with more than expectationds witch dfull my hearth with regrets cause a m a gay reterd . By tha way , i fuck gaot withc are ugly motherfucke r and gaysass reterd animals . ilove the way they move there body and the way i dont restpect the subject they gave me cause , by the way, imma gay reterd.

dixk difdskj

VENDING MACHINE MADNESS

machines are for rich people and sophisticated peolplos all. all that use vending machines should be named mayor of their respecting cities jfjdgjufjjgfjfjgfjufjkgjkgjbgjgjgbjbjjhgjhgjugjgjgjhgjgjgjgjjgjgjgjgjgjjjgjgvjfg jgjg and they shoulbd be elevated as god. and cigarette are the best hfhfdhgghh

iokjyk

MR BARNES AND IHIS STATUE

barnes have ordered some people to builsd him a statue of heis dog in honour of is grandure . mr barnes is a millionairer. mr barnes is amillioneaire mr barnes is a millionaire mr nabnjdfgvdfjkbvndfvbuhgydfgdf mr barn is a millionaire mr abarnes is amillionaire

iokjyk

FUCK

The city garbage team are manifesting because we don

iokjyk

BITCHES YOUNGLINGS

sod :Local teens have openesd a snaberkidsj and it is illegal . here are my suggestiond fire the heell aut a them bois , and jkill them on sight cause they dont deserver toa live cause thy bad for us. YThe good point on ther end is that they are ugly motherfucker ou how is my life.

Toddü

YOUTH TAKE DRUGS AND THEY SHOULD DIE

Youth take drugs and they should die because the y take drug and they shoul d die because the y take fdrugs and they should dir because they take drug and they should die because the y should die and they take drugs because they take drugs and they should die bvecause theyt

little dick

ASS ASS ASSÜ

Barry daosajfljsajfjsd;jfpsj;fjs;djf;kjsakdjfkjsakljflkjsajflkjsafljaflkjlajflkjalskjflkjalsjdflkjslkkdjflkjslajflkjsdlfjlksajlfjsdkalfjsdahf;1 kslafjljaljfljaljdlkjflajfdlkjaljdlfkjlajdflkjaslfjlajdflajdljflaj. jaljdlkfjlajfldjsaldlhflafjlsjalfjsajflsajfljsalfjlksajfljalfjlajljafjlka/alkjflkajfls.salfslajfljsaflsahfl/

Toomas  Butt

SNAZZY CASUAL COOP TIME

Catch se barry dtrain i he rally anfgry you shuold catch him he we nedd helkp and tyou can catch with neet and studd he not like net he like deatghhe we nedd fast help dratini need to be stoppefd fatst and soon . he ecilv ve wcan help us need ghep fast and soon need it now. add me one facebook pelase me name is jeff

James

FUCKING AWESOME RESSTAURANT

Thruffle Shuffle is a baddass restaurant. It never sell any edible food. And aye you cant sell anything there. But you know? I think it just another minor mistake. Downside is the chef. He is terrible. Never stop complaining about future. And i think it will never get better.

Dedi Stanzah

SNAYZY HEADLINE, HERE

tofay we are facing a horrible thing , todays youth thinks it is cool to smoke dirnk and get ahmmered. We never did that in our times when we were young why does this generation try to be adult so hard alknsdlfhja. so hard its not even funnt and i gotta write some mnoer letter s so i can finish this paper

mz[ name

PEOPLE WERE KILLED!!!!!

brealing news1! a brawl happened in the inmfamous 5 star pub where all the rich people drink1! Huge damage on prop[erty was caused reching 3200 usd. the onwers say that the people get banned from the pub and will no longer allwoed to buy fdrinks there.

mz[ name

CIGARETES IMPROVE YUOR HRALTH

We hgot the results from recent poles":;' cigarettes improve zoutr cardiovascular performance say i (9 out of 10 doctors and not only that it also makes you more atractive and mimprovse your oral health so the moral here is smoke people itÜs healthy you should see the results in 6 days;

mz[ name

GAINT SQUID KILLS NAVY VET

On the fourth of july the navey has found a giant squid, i think the best way to take it down its to take the oil and throw it int hthe ocean, now you may be wondering :" but what tabout the environment?" well i have news for you buddy, who the heck cares, kill the squid or it will kill the boat, that s what i wl walwsy say, just kil l it and let it drown il oil,!!!!! hahahahahahahaha

djacjake hines 

 NOW THATS WHAT I CLALALA

i was a gaint manican on the fourth of july last week and finally i found that every body can bae none as wlell oh snap my imt time is slowly running out and i cant type any o tohterfae aeif a just take my work for a cent and leave my live to myself just because you cant what am i typing right now? I dont know anymore. anywase i was just waiting for a 2nd chance by lmy live doesn't seem to be going anywehere isnin the

djacjake hines 

HUH WAR? WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR?

A right hook here, a left hook there, an uppercut over here. What a night! Rewally something to behold, hlets just hope that therse hooligeans learn thaier lesson befoer they die one of these common nights. Well audience htats enough from me im going hoje to my beautiful wife and chrildren

yuironkkt 

TRAGIC NEWS? PR SEDN HELP

Why would we ever want to - or allowm a psychic to do the work of police ofiicers? this is really outreageous, i wish i could type properly so i could prove my point. i guess it;s just one of theose things,... someone help me i am in danger of going to prison . just know that this could br that darned psychic's fault

yuironkkt 

MILK - DONT TRUST ANYONE

well, it seems as thoug hmilk has finally come back from the dead!@ researchers have foun;d that indeed, milk is bad for your bones - it actually kills good hard-working cekls which keeps your bonesa strong, instead of strengthering therm... who would have thought?

yuironkkt 

PSYCHIC? MORE LIKE PSYCHOPATHIC! AH GOTEM

Now this is a story, all about how, my psychic Hector Turnip put an innocent man in jail... once again... For some reason, Hector it's a good idea to use his crystal ball to find the culprid of any and all murder cases. You know what's even worst? The police can'st get enough of him! This is beyond ludicrous!

no

OI WE'RE NOT GOING INTO A REPRESSION

The eceonomy of our days is no longer what whe thought it was. I'm going back into a depressing , just like our eceobiny . hahah remeber that video reference? the news guy is teling the feminist that he doesb;t think we;re goinig in to a repressing XDyeah Thats all I had so sayl that vid waht kinda funny

no

BRAD (I THINK) IS WUITING

In it with great sadness that I announce the departure of brad . he's not actually anmed bard I jsut never remebered his name. So anyway, drab was a great guy, but tno really . he kept telling sevcret outlioud while he was leeping ahhhhh teh dead line is chasing after me, blah blahab lhaba lkjhsdlfjkhaslkfjhaslk ok =, im good now ;)

no

OERFUME MARKET IS RIGGED

alright boys and ladies a new perfume is comming out and let me tall you about its qualities it is very nice peace of chemical engineering the scientists worked on this to make zou smell very nice anduasudgfpuagsudfand so zou would pay htem tou r money so they can afford people like us reviewing them.

lord quick

OH YEAH I ROCK JAUNFTED

miste prufence perkins wonf the lotery and bought a mansion, as seven zers old boy claims the house is haunted we dont know but it mayb e scertainly true all we know is that the spirit is very mean and doesnt talk to reporters. but wait there is more the winner of the lotter dies inan accident hahaha ahah ha"

lord quick

DOCTORS ARE LYING TO US

everzbofy ;loves poles who deosnt right< we do and there are some results nine out of ten sdoctors claim that cigarettes are good for zour health. that thez improve cardoivascular performance and oral health. thez may even heal cancer huh. these polles were clearlz rigge by hte cigarrette companies who make profit off of this.

lord quick

WORL WOLL ,MAKE ZIU DIE

the sotuatom os rsca;atimg peop;le atre forced to work verz hard. late thos week theree o;ld people worked them selves to fdeathlajsd;fja;sdf;a nsdf;ansdnfa asdhn nasdf nahsdf adsf ah'sdadf ajsndaif the situatiopm cpntionures this wau we will end in coffins and mz cat is dead too.

lord qiuicjk

FOVTORS ;ATER LZING

recent cigarette polls atre in i out of 1- doctores saz it mproves ora; health and so,mething cardiovascilar performance skdfaskdjfalkjs;djf;kajksdjf;alkjsdflkjasdfiahoih hfo ihaoisdh fihaoihdifha hsodfh oaihsdihiafh h ihaidhfihasdihf ihaih ihaodshf iahifh aihdi ihiashdihf ihasdihf iahdihf ih

lord qiuicjk

GARBAGE MEN WANT APPLEPIE

Our city's garbage collectors want more more more momre! We barely have the resources to allocate even our lowest income possible for them, yet they want... APPLE PIE? WHythe hel would they want apple pie. It ffreaks me out that they want apple pie when theyshould be petionoing for money

Luke Choi

JUNK EYE

I was sittin in the sauna of my bathroom when i saw my boss in the corner of my eye. However, I was butt naked and I didn't have anything to cover my private parts. He came in because he wanted to use the siunk, but i just could not show him my junk. Oh lord, i exclaimed to myself.

Luke Choi

DUDTHEIS COUKLD BE A FORUM

Dude this place could make for a suprising excellent forum posintinf posting site, thats always set to allgotta finnish a ll five lines to tho so i mean its not that great it kjjust ithing =it kind of interesting if we could poostentionally ahave a converstation iover this silly games in mgame newspaper yo

max

PURPLE SKIN&!

Puroples skinn what is this some kind of horror movies drama plot, not this ios treal life now. with DR. fratellies Skin puples angent, yout too can now have a n expceslet sheen of aristocaracy to your mbody without modification, just sk=hill out the 19.99 a month and get monehty shipements for this amazing prodict

max

OKA

Poor dog whatever hisna-==name wa s died at the age of 18. everyone felt bad for him as he dided in a miserable way otobe honest. so someonne found him as he was barking badly and loudly. people started i to look for hiim but he they failed miserable at some point. s

Shaheen

THE FUCKING EYES

meparelos demas parecian mno oirtla , pero no oian nada ,hubiera querido el portero , sacudio la ,cabezam, dse sento cerca de mi , rstaba muy unida, ahotra no lo queda nadie, sorbia mucho,no tenmia mas sue`o. solo de vez en cuando a la la rga los ancianossorbian, nio se daban cuenta no se signnigficacban , itodos tomamtos vcadfe, abri los ojos exepto los ojos , luego volvi a dormir , me deseperte el dia resfalaba, reescupia , desoerto a la os dekmas , todos

jaime

SNAKE OIL AND BLINDNESS

so snake oil is making you blnl. blnind. blind. hthe why would you even buyit if it makes you blind i mean you need tu be crazy to buy smething that is letting you blind i mean ywhy would you even do that that makes no sense giber beaba i think im done hear her i mean i dont know what to tyo bye

Etro1st

PARRY AND THE BEACH

SO perry is a f*cking beach, beacu.because she fuaoiaihdawhdkawdkawjdhakuwhdkawhdkAUHwdkahwkduhawdkahwkduhawkdhkawdhakwhdakuhdakuwhdkauhwd adjBAWdjbawjdbajwbdjawbd and i mena wtf beach whate are u trying t di do* nd she sai d fkc men ai i mean wtf ai dont know i just got $3600 dollars or euros idk an yeah and you knwo how is it. yeah ba. i mean bye

Etro1st

COWARD

Well so fuck off i dont fucking care what the fuck do you awant me  to fucking wriette i mean write& sorry *** i dont know what am i supop fuck. Suppose* to say. This is sofuck. Nevermind. W, I just wanted to say that this is so fcukced , i mean fucked up fuck hell no i dont wkno dawkdoAJWdaJD'AW

Etro1st

HOW TO NOT TO WRITE THIS NEWSPAPER

writwe is the thing ha ha ha ha ha hahahahahahahahahahhahahahahaahahha i so dont dkn;ow how to wrrite hahah this osdd fjljlkjjlgjljlkjslkjlfjljfljljjflfjdfjfkjdfljfdlfjfjdlfjdlfjd slow typing writing thos

I SDIIDSIDI DONT KNOW

this is the coop times i sdffflfjlfjdlfjfljdfldjflfjdlfjdfdlfdfjdfdjfldfjdlfkjdflkdjfldfjdlfjdlfjdfjdlfjdfdjfldfjdfjdlj was this is this tis tat this ;waht had thlthrlthrlrthrkthtklrhtkrthrkthrlthrkthrtrthrthrktlhrlthrtlrhtlrhtrkhrkrhtkrhrthrthththrkthrthrtklrhtlrhtrklj

WANDWANTED STUPENDOUS BARRY

StssStupenduoStupendous Barry Dratini is WanterdWanrWanted by the police. The escape artist keeps breaking out of hi the police cus cudd cucuffs%%. they should try and make the cuffs tighter so they have to be harder to break out uof

rine

Lotterman you are real good at editing but bad at cooking . you dont make fool all people not all the time either youo work ouny on your paper or loose the job dont start resturat ruffle tuffle this is one of the most shit phappeing plance with only 40 dishes that outher offer 20 090

®®®®®

Beetle with san sansanksnake power give you the curative properity but attention the sekker you dont get anothe r chandce to revover it ir exprtremely dangerous be caution before using and raead all the guidline before using it i hope you understand the power is in your hand

®®®®®

IN THE CUT THROAT COMPETITION MAKE THE LIFE EASY SMOKE AND FORGET THE BRAIN TEA

smoke and smoke you will be relaxed from tehhe problem you are facing , from the fear of falling , from teh fear of not acknowlede you can do this with a very short step go out have a wanding machine punch and got a cigarrette fo r youseld and see the amazing results you will be as

DThSh

PERFUME WHICH CAN TAKE YU U TO ANOTHER WORKLD

wAnklescent is onde of the powerful perfune if you try this definetly girls will attratct like a bee , and if you are the first person to try you got an amaizing gift hmaper hrurry up offer is lijmited join the race win the best prize it is up to wyou you want a good hmaper or nor choice

DThSh

JOB JOB JOB FOR THOS E WHO WANT

one of the most imporatt thing in il life is knowledge application and imagicnantion . how to win tehhe rac thi want to be a writer how can i do cthis the only reason of my existence is lto learn more and more and earn more and more who is the first person ofn t

DThSh

THE MAJOR LEARN A LOT ABOUT GERMANY

the major has fell in love with germany so to show his support to german he has gone and had a private party with himself and a few german sausages to improve his knowledge of german and all thatb it has to offer he got a bit intermit with the sausgaes because he was really interested in german culture isn'

josh williams

DEATH AND JGOOD DOGS DIEING

tucker the good dog died today at the geage of 100a and some one killed me for sucksing dick aty typeing some one needs to help me the deadline is comeing at mne isupingeer gsoh my god i suck taat this game send me some help plz plz plz hitler was right to hgas the jews kill me god

thomas

NIGGA PUT ASS BEHIND BARS

what hector ru ops hector turnip a ass has put an innocenct man behind bars what a asshole i think that he should just retire and kill himself like i do not want to be o put behind brs for something i did not do man. fuck that guy i hope that u guys don't get fuckeed in the ass by him hope you gyuys stay safe man.

nigga

FUCK DOGS

dog bengangles has died . finaly man i thnk that he is just a fat fukin dog why do people care so much about that fuking fat ass dog like nigga get a fuking life man. fuck dags acat is way better thatn that is just so bgayfuk dogs and thm shittin everywhere like cats don't do that man

nigga

FUKIN GOOD TIME

fuck u nigga ass fupls what the hell is the ha ppenig fuck this shit i am out nigga what do you want me to do this whyu man why do you do this shoit to me u asshole noboass bithc eh hwo do you do m8 fuck you and your assholealksdfj;lkasjdf;lkajs;lkfj;aslkdfjlk;dj;lkf;lasdjf;lajsf;ldjfj;lasdJF;kjs;djfl;sdjafje;lkfj;dsajfd

nigga

ICE=CREAM ROBBERY

A man is taking 11 children to court after they raided his parked ice=cream van. The thing is that those robbers aren't bearded refugee children and that's why they can't sikip justice. Those children are cactually children and therefore will pay a price tfor their actions. There will be no mercy! The analytics says that they will o go to prison.

Sergej

MAYOR BLOOMER STRAGLED BY A SILK SCARF

Breaking! Mayour Bloomer of neighbouring city Newberg has been found dead in his office, strangled by a silk scarf. A prime suspect is his lover, Shlomo Goldman. The day after Bloomers death he hastly ledt the city and took a plane to Israel. Bloomer and Goldman are recognized members of local BDSM club where strangling sex games are the big part of their activities. Goldman is now on Interpol wanted persons list. Hopefully he will be soon extracted for the trial.

Sergej

DONT DO DRUGS

HThe President of Beigzeria has declared war on our people. He made this decision being high on drugs. His heroin addiction affect allh his political decisions. People! Don't do drugs!S See how it gkacan end. Our peaope will win this war.

Sergej

DEATH AND STUFF

Ya?ll ae onna pivne...... let me begin from new..../=whot... let me restart.. Ya?ll are gonna die.. i forgot what i had to writ e about >*sth about a big bang 88*shrugs*lo l i want to die i hope the bang is gonna kill us all.. damn how can this character have a cig in his mouth the wholewhWQHOLE WHOLE time... like rent u suffocating m8..?

Hannah M.

RICH PEOPLE MAK E ME SICK

Cpcould have just spent the money on sth important like charity or sth u know, there wherwere probably many arnings about this mansion, ad who even want to buy mensions[[[ its clea they are haunted by evil spirits.. have u nevr watched an a= horrormovie...{[{poor boy is gprpprobably going to die.

Hannah M

STOP WHALE HUNITHUNTING, FUCKERS

Illegal Narwhale hunting, stop it now! The animals need to be sfed, fuck off people!!!! no one should be paid to do cruel shi like that. Bam. Finished. Or should I write more{{{UNicorn do not exist btw. lol. Ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyok now what ........ ahm

Hannah M

RADICAL GARBAGE COLLECTORS

Our city's garbage collectors have gone on strike, demanding repatrioation of all immigrants. This is a threat against humanity! We cant let those extremists ruin our glorious democracy. Let them strike! We choose to live in a dump!

Sergej

THE NIG BANG

Big bang in the mist of dawn? Not to worry folks it's only a NUCLEAR POWERPLANT??? We are all gonna die mothafuckasssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but  alas life is short and this exestinal crisis will wcome to eand end and then we we will feast on the inonco;lkasdf

darlingDavid

HORSE CRAP OR BULLCRAP?

Horse dung filling the streets of Compton ? New bussiness in town bhas begun to ruin the lovely streets of our home town in the act of proft? I think not !@? I'D rather tshit down their face and call em sally . Id' rather poop down the necks of all the fokl;lklkjlkjadsf

darlingDavid

NUCLEAR EXPLOSION NEAR THE SCITY

Yseterday an tnoon our city was chacked by a powerful sound of explosion. Rescently, prime minister Menzenhower made a statement. Government are testing nuclear weapon near our city. Menzenhower doesnt see it as a big deal and calli it for @harmless@ testing. Hovwever people are afraid for the consequences of such tests. This @harmless testing@ brings us nuclear radiation and destruction. My trust in local authoritys is gone! I hope that next nuclear explosion will be made under the Menzenhowers house.

¶¶sergej

GOODBYE LOVERS FAMILY PETS FANS I COULD NOT DOIT ANY MORE

reader i have been contimplating this for a long time . i an here to say good bye yes thus is a suicide bote and yes i want it in the paper , tell my family i love them . i hate myself and you qall. goodbye cruel world i have hated you scince the beginnging. please dont mourne the loss of ne. i loved my faqmily and not myself i canot live any more goodby.

jaxon

SASQUATCH SIGHTING

bigfoot is going to kill us all . run ig you can . if you do not listen to me you are going to die and be eaten. please evacuate the city i saw him at the ,all yesterday so do not shop there run.run.rub.run.rin.ri .5utroj,run,rubrun.rtin.run.run,runrinntutntrurhrtubhrjwevfchwdhcouqebdqedcqed bqedhb qewjcqej ihqeb cj ew chb ewjc o e cjhe jhc b f

jaxom

GOVERNER CHEESE IDIOT

cheese is no longer edible thanks to the governer . we are trading cheese with bigerzia and their weird looking president . if ou eat cheese you ar eno longer smart or patriotic cheeses are the worst now. i ude to love cheese and noe i dont . governer a message to you is go away

jaxom

DOCTORS MORE LIKE SHMOKTERS

caution milk is dangeroud if you drink milk you are a rasist milk makes you weak. why doctors lied?i do not know but they are idiots and deserve the worst . burn inb hekl doctors . goodbye civilation .bwhfhadbcfhesdbyicb.vnshkdbvjknsfdjv .vbngggoodbye i rans out of timr help doctors are losers .

jaxon

PURPLE LIVES MATTER?

purple skin is the new rage it is very snazzy in my oppinion. i thing purples should be treated equal as others are . purple people are the funniest smartest people i know they are very beautiful. thet are the best people ever they are going to be around thw world amen an iright?

jaxon

I WANT TO DIE

bvihfsivbfprisnfvjsrbvinskjvbjpfnvkjnfi.auhrfuhryhfurhyvhrpihviryvirhgviyrevl.jbjbnfjbbfjfnjbnjfbfaaaaaaaamabvaaamaaamahbchjbdcjh.ihgnviufdnvuienuve.viucfihvhefbvcefv.eb.g.et.bv.grbv.et.bvet.bvetgbv4tg4tgte.gtegetgethtetethtehbetgetg5gy53yrg.egergetgergergfgergrgrgrgfrg.gurehguetnjnvgjbnkgjnfvigjnuvgtiue. jgnrtjngvje/ vvrvr. g.fmf.fmfjghgjg .jgh . fh .vbnvjbgjnvjfnvj njnfherbhve.bfyfsbcvhebyufger . j vkjernicnirnfchnrcnfhrbcnvrbhi ufbry.bfhv jrnvk jo3rnflfjnv ifn vj jjjj.jnhbuhgyubhb iuhuihuihuiiu hiuhihiuhiuhiuhiuhihihhyhyhyhy

jaxon

/DOG DIES, CAT LOVERS EVERY WHERE REJOUCE.

Tragically a famous fog of some variety a gas unexpedtly passed awat this moriin g due to throat cancer. This is crushing news for theowners ans dog lovers across the woerls . This is short and sweet so read up because i have a deadline whidch is about to catch me so i need to hurry up there we go hwy preasto.

a dick head

WILD TGRAN THEFT AOUTO SPREE ACROSS THE WOELD PUTS CAR COMPANIES IN DENBT!]

ther is a growinf problem with fran theft auto in the states as people find their cars stolen or destroyed agfera crimainal has stolen the veshicl and tried to sell it on in a corime kmnoeswn as fgran theft auto. This is not the video hame fokds , oh no this is the ewreal woerld with real people. This game is quite haerd for the reacord and ass t you can see my typoning isnt all that fgreat.

a dick head

HUGE BRWAL BREAKS OUT OVER PINT OF BEER IN NEWLY OPENED PUN IN EAST COMEWHER

a manic brawl brealks out in renounded 5 star pub causing huge property damage with dines rocketing to almost $3200 . some eyewitnesses fay that the brawl twas 2uncontrillabel and the fighters were wild and had no regard gofor bystansders . All we know is that is ints

Sally moons]

MOSQUITOS ARE CAUSE OF CANCER SCIENTIST CLAIM

itis rumored that the pesky mosquitoes that fly atound in the summer time here in sunny Britain could be behind that horrible out breal of the flu that has tool te nation by storm. Some say it is infact /Soviett Scientist developoinf dabngerous weapions that are being used to take over the woerkls. This game is honestly ridicylous an my typoinf id awful.

Sally moons]

OLD DKFJOLD WOMEN DIFINDS LOVE IN MOTEL COFFER MACHINE

Itermnationl business man Riogerogeson is relocatinfg to a huge skycarper sonmetwhere over the rainbow in Anerivca . Her is looking ro be in debt somehow but is gounf to pay it off by selling his bosy on the streets of laAL this game is ajoke ps lots of love your diad

finlay

SY SKY SCRAPER BY ROGER ROGERSON AFFECTS THE AIRWAYS

roger rogerson the new best business man CEO hw who wants to build and is building a new 350 dollars sky scraper in our town right now. its rumored that the bussinesman will have that sky scraper finished on july 3 2015 . the problem is will it effect our air ways. possibly because the hight of it is about 5 km it is verry high for a buildoing just useed for bussines and other nan non too important stuff though. citiczenst are creating a campaign and signing prpetuciating peticion to refuse this man's work

yusn

CIGARTTES AS A D HEALTH DESTRUCTOR

another topic i would like to disscuss is how the not smoking will benefit so many for each and everyone u know. iits has been reasereched that 9 out of t10 people who doesn't smoke have a nice cardiovascluar system, a nice attractiuve nees, and aklso have a very very good dental hygene. the dow doctor who did the reaserach said that tis is the cigarrte were talking about her e so its reallyn not good four your helat whiiiii. so we must ovoid smoking or cigarrtes whenever we can we must not be one of the somokers

hund

HI HORS DU FRANCE HORCE CAB PROBLEM

so so a somay somay so many horse were seen this day t due to the kalca lack og lack of concience of the driver og the horse cab its been sayed tat it is the hords that rage arouynd causuing a mad havoc around otwn because of it the police ware assign to head down town hhhhh

hafdhl

GRAND THEFT AUTO WHAT??

grand theft auto an wild new game pull by the rocstar gaming cooperation as a breakthrough for the nw gaming world and also t obe presistent about it. aftenr relasing grand teft auto 5 it recieve a lit criticsm about how the game should run or what ithshould be . as aooiapposed to the ne w graohics and the nwew character og the game it serves a lot of new maps to ecxplor and its so facinating juast to see it and tryibnto to kic live a life in this world . because its so fine of agame its really importang to be aware of glitches and some bud bugs in the game that may affect the game pa play .

hafdhl

FOLLOWING YOUR DREAMS

now this new gel, wow, is amazing, i can make my hair lok good for the whole day even when i shower, basically, if you buy this hair gel and put in it yhour hair it stays strong healthy, and stiff for the rest of your life, it's really the best product you'll ever get, because you won't need to buy another gel again. It's eamazing, actually, i love it so much , htat i bought a lot of it, even though i need only one bottle , because it lasts forever, like actually forever. IWEven when you die, yourhair will stay stiff on your skeelton. It'll look wierd but you know, if you choose to be inceinerated, then you'll loke this gel, because you know wsome people tdon't wanto be in the grave with their hair just standing up. They think that the only thing that should be satnding up is their family at their funeral and their dick at a children's party. Ok athat might have gone a little too far, but i think you got my point,. Anyway, so my sister is graduating hisgh school, and I think

Vilius

PUB FIGHTS IN THE UNTEID STATES

pub fights are an increasing probnlem in the united states, causing over e``````500000$ worth of damage every year,. I dont know why my computer is so weid and instaed of zeros types `` these, so tjust live with that, okay. Tos So the tfight was brutal, all people in the pub were killed, and no one survived, only the combattee. I think that that was a brutal fight, and it should have been in a ring, where people can watch it more closely, and the people can eb in stantly put into ta hospital, btecauseit's not safet to ujust let them fight fwhere ver they ewant, okay.

Vilius

HUGE WEED MADE INTO FABRIC.

i think that they should pe even rewarede for theyr business. they arent thaoiondg ganything bad, theyre just seelling fabrix, that s good for everyone, the local policae ( i dont know why) , the neighborhood, the twon, the whole state, and even the whole united states. I don't know wa man in the whole world, who wouldn't profti from this, so si think they should just leave them be. That's me singing off.

Vilius

HARD-HITTING KITTENS

kittens are the cutest thing on earth right now. everyone thinks theyre cure because they actually are. hard journalism is hard and i don't think i actually know what that raelly iss, so sorrya guys this is just gonna be a piece about cute kittens. so one time, ewhne it was shopping, i found a cute ass kitten just lying on the floor, without an owner, ti thought to myself, what a ctue kiteten! and i just picke d it up and took it home, now it's grown into a full size cat, that i lowe very much, so guys if you see a kitten just pick it up and give it a new home. thats me, siniging utout.

Vilius

CULRPITSSTOPPED BY BREAPCER

now this is a story worth reaindg. There as oa bankr obebery on partk sttreet. And a precher just came up and said to them to not steal, the ythought that that was a great idae and just dropped their guns and the ir bags full of money and ran away. unfortunately, we ccouldn't find them, so we don't know where they are, and we vaccan't that nk them. sorry guys, i hope the polcie finds the cluprits sono.

Vilius

I DONT TNOWKON

i dont want to know what im reporting. I just dont remember, so Iumm ma am once said that  Iwas a big aboy and she wanted to say that she loves all of you. she likes everyone, beacause she has a big heart, if forgot to reade the instructions so i dont tknow what to write next.

Vilius

SNAZZY, EUE-CATHING HEADLINE.

aceitarma meu texto em portugues bom vamos la .a historia e sobre uma lula gigante que foi destruir tres naiovs em alto mar e as autoridades da marinha estao atras a procura deste animal mitico ou illusao dos marinheiros, vamos ver no que isso vai dar. espremendo palavras bla bla bla nao sei mais o que escrever cansei deste jogo fui.

noobartist

SNAZZY, EYE-CATHING HEADLINE

estou jogando u,m jogo em ingl"es e nao sei escrever rapido o a hist[oria sobre jovens que abriram uma loja no antigo post de gasolina ilegalmente. e ninguem esta indo la investigar este assunto, sera que o jogo vai me penalisar por estar escrebvendo isso em outro idioma que nao o ingles.Á

noobartist

ATTACK OF THE BLINDNESS BEETLE

Exploers in south america have discovered a new species accalled the Ferguson beetle, it is said to have curative properties and will srestore blindness when mixed with snake oil. However, prominent scienists question the use of this beetle but not the ethical ramifications of restoring blindness. Field tests will follow.

Dana

NB: WAXAA QORAY XAMZA CABDIKARIIM XAATIMI

ascm wrxm wbrk magacayga waxaa la yiraahda xamsae cagbdikariim muriidi waxaan ku dhasahy boosaaso waxaana ku noolaha y hada hargysa waxaan rajeynayaa haduu ilaahay idm o inaan noqon qof lagu xqasaaray oona noqdo qof lau guulaysatay waxaan jeclahay mustqbalkaeyga inaan noqdo gret programmer

D((((((((((&&&&Dear newx

ALL'S FAIR IN LOVE AND FRANKFURT RINDSWUSRT

I've had it up to Here with all this tolkk of sex scandals and Stippgrutze. Enough is enough! Myaor Bandana Waddledee has no fear when it comes to revealing his fantasies, for we as his peaople can understand and forgive... it's just a question of if his wife will in turn. Can she live with the competition of the Lady Bratwurst breathing down her neck? Can anyone know to whom his heart belongs to? Onl ytime and Pinkel wil l tell.

FinalCPU

BIGFOOTSEARCHING FOR CLOTHES???

I't was rummaging through the department store dressing rooms!" Stateld local teen and freinds watched in horror as the famed Sasquach ransacked Elianora retail dressers at BAY mall "murica late yesterdayafternoon . Onlookers could only stare in horor as a mythical creature compromized their goods to be.

FinalCPU

I DONT KNOW WHAT TO TYPE AGAIN

i really recomand other typing games because this is really hard to deal with. This is a new sentance. This is another esentacnce. And a lot of mistkes hav e been made because i dont know how to stype very fast enogh taht the desad line doesnt catch me and this is a veruy long story to tell and finally i can press enter and finish this story becayuse i need to go to sleep now it is currenctyly 12:42 pm lolai mean am xd

vyctor661

THE NEW TYPER IN THE TOWN

Ok so this is an art of typing, first story we discovered a new typer in the wtown and whe is preytty talented even he makes ossome mistalkes and he knows he cant delete thisng becuse we didnt invent te time machine to go forward in thime and ges some new typing futuristic machines

vyctor661

THIS IS STHE EBEST SRTOEUA

ok i dont knoe what i iam suppuosed to dio so this is reallu hartd beacuse the deadline is comming for me and i can dfeel the pressure and i tryu p to be as accurate as possible tryinf to type sand i can t delete og no this si vbery very ok im oh no i ran out od ideas iomg waht

vyctor661

DJGJJGRJ`PJDJJ

once upon a time there was an island where all the feeloing s live happiness,saddnes and hate so the people wo=that would got to the iswland wold leave with no emotiom cvcvioüvn cl hve 78fui kzcngui efndj [fick oov b v`ovargoao`ifoffjfjfjfjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj gggjgjgjjgg grgfgfghjfjfhrhhjhlkhrlhrjhihrghj jgjejripjphpijr so ya

THE TIME I GOT PISSED OFF

so in orhe rnews i liethe nesfuckoff g ghgrirhrooirjrjg jgjgjgjgjgjgjgjgjgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg gggggggggggggg gggggggggggsignes your big fat fucking cock yeag 

PREACHER SAVES THE DAY

An armed bank roddery that took place today was thankfully brought to a conclusion by one of the hostages! Unknown to the masked robbers, one of their hostages was Bob u viat , a preacher from the local church who managed to talk the ribbers down with proimises of wine and bread.

elphin

EVRYONES TAKING THIS DRUG

A pyschosematic drug has sweeped the nation, takingin old and yuong alike, in offices, cafes, restuarants alike. No­one is batting an eyelid, even in church you find the congregation sipping on the powerful CAFFIENE. makes the heard beat faster, has a driect chemical effect on the parts of the brain

elphin

THE END OF THE WRODL

This message means that the alines will come and destroy us so prepareto be killed. you know just hide in your bunker, or kiss your wife good bye, or have sex with your children just eoto be safe. You know you have to keep and carry your seeds all around you because you never know when you'll neeed thm. Bye , have a nice end of the wrold!!!

bigpete

ME TALKINGABOUT LIFE

wanklescent is the bestperfume you hae ever eseen. it lets you smell like thebest celeb on earth, jeb .!!!! it is so good wevery signal girl and woman and man and everyone will love you and want to have sex with you instantly. No time has passed and you 'll be in bed with a lot of people, men awomen, children, the elderly, the disabled and more Maybe evne dogs, i don't nkow you. I hope no tthough. So i think we've got each oteher, just buy this fperfume already and be irrestisble to theo toerh or sasme sex. Just be irrestible to everyone. wow now that is a good deal isnot it . you can't pass this up because youll be se t on sex for life! You won't need anything else. just sex and sex and xes. So , wanklescent, that's a good name for a perfume, because it has the word secnet inn it that already lets you know that this is a perfume. You know someone says to you : want some wanklescent? You immediately say yes because you know you'll get free perfume. this is the ge

bigpete

EXECUTINGELDERLYPEPOLE

Now, Iseethata lot of people have died over work and that is a badthing because no one should to that. dying to work is like dying to a cup of coffee , work is life work is lovw, you shouldnt die to it, you should enjoy and reveil in it. i believe the elderly hsoulbd be esxecuted...

bigpete

WAR MONGERER THREATENS HOMELAND

The president of Beigzeira has declared war on hus, and as he did so his obnoxiously large nose bounced around. he is awful he is terrible. he smells. he doesnt shower or brush his teteth and all he is is a greedy war mongering b piece of human garbage i think im at five lines now



I DONT' KNOW

Hector turnip, a local psychic ahas put anothe rsoul behind bars. This is not the first time he has done that. I thnk that this needs to stop , because killing or putting innonccent pepole behnd bars istn'g ood for anyone, the pscyhic, the police, or your mom,. The dogs are barking so I've got to go , bye.

Vilius

ME BANGING M YCOWORKERS MOMO

One time when I was hgrabbing my lunch dthid sude just stole it from me and ate it fint front of me. I was so pissed I killed him on the spot. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. NThat 'll teach him, nI've never seen him since, I hope his mother is still in agrea ts shape after I bagned her alast years. HAHAHAHAH

Vilius

GOD HELP ME

A kitten was killed today in a car accident on highway 69, i. a tragic adccident cauesd by a drubk driver who aws a woman. Hehe hxd, only women can hit kittens amirite? so you nkow the kitten was just falvaling to the other side of the street, when all of a sudden a car whailed pas t and hit the kitten at 75 mpsh. the kitten was kileled instantly and its family mourned him for years to come. this is me, signing off. Bye..

Vilius

MAN DOES A GREAT JOB AT KILLING KIDS

This man is a work of art. No one else but him would do this ourtrageuos shit. The kid s derserve every byt it of it becaues they lafkcked selfconfiedence and fro some reason they just stole that dusdes iscecreaam, not cool dudes, not col. so i think that he made the right decision, and I would n't have done it any other way.

Vilius

NARWHAL KILLINHG

So, the illegal harvesting of narwhal tusks is a inscreasing problem in the untieted states that no one seemd ts occare about , bedacasue trump is a oepeepee head and is dunmb and my mom saiys that its bad, because ararwahals feel pain too, it's not just us

Vilius

DIDFABIG BOI STORY

hello my name is big boi biull, i am from big boi land so you better respekt me , if you dont i will find you and kill youb, and your family , big boi will finds yu, be careful im might just be right next you rn, shtmhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm iw il i like minecrfta so you better respekt me

bigboi

SUMMER DAYRS

Summer days.We wherer at the summer house, dacha. We met our relatives and ate some pizza. It was very fun. Illdo it gagain in the future.

sergej

SMONING IS GGOD

Revent studies from doctores show that ciggaretes are good for your hearth and none out of ten dodtors say thet they imporve certain aspects of your health, such as cardiovalscular activity. This shows that people should some smoke more . 

asdf

HORSES SHIIT EVERYWHERE

A popular nwe mode of transportation is horse drawn acrriage  . But a popular problem is that thr horses lave hourse dung everywhere, the cilvilians and citizens are extremely upsta but also appreciate the comfort and conveniency of the communiation and transpor'

asdf

THE PEOPLE! THE PEOPLE!

The president of Beigzeria has declare d war on our people. Isn't that just disappointing. I like our people quite a lot and I do not like war, since those same people will for sure die from it. However I do see there's a need for gonicde sometimes, so if someones gotta die, rather you than me.

DANIEL

JOURNALISM IS DEAD

Adele Wankle just released a new perfume; Wanklescent. I'm getting paid a lot of money to promote it, so I'll say whatever `i I need to say in order to get you to purchase it as well. The more perfume you buy, the more money `iI make which means I'll do more paid advertisements and the integrity of journalism is dead.

DANIEL

DON'T DRINK MILK, THROW BABIES

MILK LEADS TO FRAIL BONES! Who would believe that. Well, I would. Apparently milk and the drinking of it makes you brittler than a baby just thrown from a balcony. And you know how those splash, ir right. Right? No just me then. That's okay, we all have our quirks. So stop drinking milk and start throwing more babeis babies.

DANIEL

MONEY PUNCH

Good ol' Perry wanted me to write aboutth the brawl in the pub 5 star not too long ago. It was about a very nice amount of moen mom money, m nameli, namely 3200 dollars. Yeah man! Imagine that. With that money you can purchase a lot of escortss escorts. You know thats what we editors are all about hehe

DANIEL

CHEESE OF IVANISTANT; THEROCKI`HNRU

ivanistan hassome ove the worst dcheese inthe world however hoourgovernor has made a trade agreement wioth them and their ridiculous hcheeseschees cheeses . !! csan you believe uiti hate cheese sheit is thew rsworst. fuck cheese andf fuck ivanistqantthis is really hard

dnanoa

TUSKS TO CURE CANVER!

Did you know that to harvest rnarwale tuslks is a hard buisness, but all the more empowering when completed as these hard tusks contain vitamins which are crucial to the race to cure carncer. moreover it allows some underpaid chinesse child to dfeed there family, helps thae planet by getting rid of the narwhales w fro bethher purposes.

Lleigbot

COMMIE MESSAGE SENT TO PSPACE

Leaked documents now have been realesd to the pucblic. it states tha tthe CIA have sent messages to space our trusty department hancce decyphered it adn it says, @~hope that there is something out there , god know s wat the commie s are up to in Russia~ lololo-0 B

Lleigbot

ADELE WNANKLE SMELLS GOOD

the new and upcoming clel celebrity adele wankle has released her new line of perfume name dthe beautifu;l waswanklescent and is the most loveliest m smell a man coukld smeell i could m smell it for days and wouldnt give a care in the workld i hope the bes t for her and her buisness ventures

mista fista

DJEDFAKDHFAHEFLJGSAD

BIG FOOT SPOTTED OUTSIDE OF STANFORD MALL? Yes or so ower eye witness fromn the scene clkaims. She (Mrs.slam) she says that they aofgasdgfasgfaqfjdfgasdhbfgkbfkjsgdckjqwbvfbfsdfgljfgjwhbfhbfvjgffbgjfhbajfbasjdfgwjfgjfbufg sfhwjfsfbafg lidfhdghfqwhf apiofuqwkefhoaiuhf oiqyefasdgfowytef pidyfqwef

Denis Vrsevci

BLOOMER'S OWN WIFE

Major Bloomers killed by his wife? So we think she has never loved him, their parents forced them to marry. Plus that s her scarf . I remember her wearing it a t bloomer's fund raising champain . Crazy I tell you crazy indeed how someones own spounce soucould murder them in their slkeep

Denis Vrsevci

BUGSBE BLINDING

There is a new bvettle that is blinding the very citivens that we know and love. This is crazy we cannot n]let the governemnt keep this a secret from us. So as the citizens of the Coop Times, inform your fellow human. If you see a bug that you have never seem before, kill it and notify us of it inmediately. Tghen tell yoru nabors and them tell the nations guard. This will blind someone don't lets someone get blindedf by a bug that is meerly atuiny ass creature/ Hel;p ushelp us the citixzen soif kilers city. We need your help will you help us? Kill thgat got damn bug don't let it

Denis Vrsevci

WHAT UP JAMAWN

This is how you play the game. you write an article and it gets posted on this news paper. becare ful tho because if you mess up you cant backspace. its also a hella old game so im pretty sure no one ever bothers reading the articles. usually its a random prompt given to you. as you play the time allotted for each article decreases.

jamawn

NEW PRFUME

wanlkle scent is reaching the supermarkent near you. not only does it smell amazing, but it is also good for you skin. it hads twice the amount of semenas normal perfume and ahs the added bonus of making you pregnant after several uses. make sure to paply some to you skin today so you can smell like a cumm slut

asdf

IDK ANYMORE

the president of some unknown cuontry is surprisng ly worse than trupm, the country in question is soo unpopular it is not boing to be namesd the only way for people to respect him is hahtooru thorugh reading the news. if only this countries president could have orange skina nd ahirl like outrs

asdf

GARBAGE DEMANDS

garbage collectors anre now demanding that the city pay them with cta litter. they say that cash is not goingto hold its value and hatt the ciyt is trying to rip them off. if anyone can donate fcate litter to the city to help pay for the sanitation workers you can do so by stopping by city hall to drop someoff

asdf

MILK SUCKS

warning, milk is now bad for human consumption and health, not only does it harm babies ,and adults alike, it also will kill your mother. make sure to bnever by milk from the supermarket aver again. instead try other healty oalternatives such as alcolhol or energy drinks. urin e is also known as a good alternative

asdf

PURPLE SKIN

This ne w trend of turing people's skin purple is amaing. first we can use it to differentiate with one oanother . second it is a good way for eopple to makr their freinds after a long night out drinking. not only will it make people more visible a night it will also helep them mark eopple theat they never want to eevr see a gain

asdf

OBJECTION, WE DO NOT WANT IT

We were at wars with them just days ago. do you really think they do hthis without any bad inteiontions. No not at all. They have th e worst cheese, greasy, bad, unpresentable. They have the world bad bchesses name. I don't like it. Everyone hates it. We don't need those cheeese, when we have make our bestest be cheese of all time.

thebestbuddy

ONLY BENEFIT, NO LOSES!

this vending machine wdoen't deserve to be removed because it is good for me and you love it too. it's good for me and you. benefit for each others. Also I believe and everyone else too believe, that if you make it a bit shiner. More will be interested in it. You may als omake business out of it too. Benefit and no loses.

thebestbuddy

SUCK MY DICK

 YOu boys ask fro kitten news eh? I gotchu baby girl, mhhmu on sc girl before I sex you and your dogs and cats and I will fuck the shit out of you so you continute to FUCK so oasdlkfjhoio ghpa So you have tons of orgazms and have a ton of fun so we can fuck you later on tonight KANE IS A BTICH ASS NGIGER AND HE IS GAY ASND FAGT T So yea, kittnes and headlienes, HMU on snapchat babygirl, STYKZYTYwithout the Y

Lyle Breaux

WHAT THAT FUCK ANM I SUPPOSE TO WTIRE

what am i suppose to rwire her ei am not sure what i am doing wthis shop is a shit one and i want top lio;l my self so bad nad i da, mthis si shit what the fuck is this man awhere do i read what am i sippose to type no back smace this si gay asnd i dont klnow whjat to do and i l;ike this shit

asd

NARWOLS HAVE MAGIC UNICORN RAINBOW TUSSKS

This is about getting Narwol tusks. We have some dude that wants to get them and told us we need to write this to look lke a good thing. I don't think the tusks are worth much and not really nice to take Narwol tusks from them because they use those to cast magic unicorns into the sky.

Spellzt

night theü at the brawl perry witness a very interedting sight a brwal broke a about at the pubt he was veyr y swcared and later in the night 3200dolalrs broke of expensis at the pubnnjnnjnjnjjnjjnjnthe endvfnvnvandfndnvjadnkdvfjfnvnfjkkdkkdkdkdkdkdkddkdkdkkdkdkddkdkddkdkkddkdkdkdkdkdkddkk[

null

This week alone, three elderly citizens have worked themselves into the grave. Write an opinion column about the escalating situation. asdasdjkas;kdjasdja pijawqpawij[pjwdpiqwajdpiqwjadpiqwjap[dj[pqwjapqwjdiwqjdiwqjadawqijdiawjdaiodjawseodijaopidaspdikma padj oiawj d

dave

OUR OWN MAYOR A MURDERER? NEWBURY POLICE SAY.

Mayor Bloomer of Newbury was fouind dead yesterday morning. the accusations say it was our own mayor pands that comitted this atorcity. Could it really be him. Are we living under the rileruler of a murderer? I cry out otto bring justice to teh town and Newbury and hopefuily our rlelations can improceve.

Eddie

YOUTH ON THE STREET DIES FORM OVERDOSE

THere are many problems witht ehthe youths on the stereets today howeber they are taking drugs and this is the prblem we hface today. I am here to write about why is htiwhy i think the statement above is false. Its flase on many levelse and they are reallly bad

Eddie

SHOULD WE HANDG THE GUILTY PSYCHIC"

Local psychic Hector Turnip makes a big mistake, againQQ ! He put a new gai in jail for no reason, is it time to deal with this al and finally get the police to work on the case and put him in jail insted" I have a crystal ball that says so, so jjsut as him, he's going to jail. End of storyh.

Emanuel

ASL;DKFJA;SLDFJKASDF

Vending machines are what makes life worth tliving. in order to live life to it's fullest potentionspotentioal blah bjsdhaflsjhf ladsjf lskdjf lsd kfj lsd kfjlsd jfalsdkj flaksd fldsk jfasldkfjlask jflksjfdjkjksjjfksdjfl; kasdjgf aufhlsdfjlaskfj;laksjf;ljf;asldkfj;sldkfjsd'fsdfasdfasdf sdfasd asdsd

MrBowTie

HOW I RUINED YOUR LIVES

BEETLE BAKING BUSYBODIEDimtootired to continue this and in need of more coffee, Cripes my editor i s such a twit. I hate this job. Gonna burn down the building when i leave, steal the printer, stash fish in the a/c. Im just killing time until i clock out to go home and drink. So bored,

M=fnuvnuvnurnvunn

BANDITS

the bandint were bad people and a would be preacher talked teho out of comming the eoffence by taking them out of the bandits . to stop what they were doing and to turn them selfs in.I need to keeop typing as ai need to rwrite 5 lines on this story so the

Sdy Bremz

I CE CREAM IN THE COURT ROOM

Thsi week a man decided that a best way to deal with a group[ of 11 kids raiding a van filled with ice cream ist aking them coto court./ And well he did. Maybe they still are kids, tbut as the old saying ggoes. Not knowing thw law is your fault as a persons. Not the man's who just tretriued to make a living doing a gair job.

Killme

KITTENS FOR LIFE

KIttens are a big problem of modern jurnalism, or more preciselu, the clack of rththem . We need more kiettens. Both as a society and as a hard working indsutry./ So teay, kittens. MORE. KITTENS. No less than a million./ We need LOads of kittens. Did I make myself clear?

IDKWHAT IDO&

QUICK TIOS TO MEET THE RIGHT GIRL

Meeting the right girl is not a big problem. You just have to keep klean and look noce. Then go to a bar and talk to thje pritties girl. She will definitely take a liking to you. then buy here a galass of wine and your donre. Is there more that need to be sair, That

Thomas Nilefalk

UNNECESSARY BAKCSPAVE INVENTION

Mr. Buckingham have invented a completey unnevessary tools that he calls the 'baclsoave'. It is supposed to enable us to erase charavters that was already put on the page using white ink. Not only is this unnevessary it alsop doesn't gofster the spelling that onoin ­era

Thomas Nilefalk

WAR­CHEESE FOR GOBERNOR

It is relly stranbe that a country that we where in war with in just a few days ago, ues, u mean Ivanistam, can aquire a n agreement that will give them this myck money. The governor is a scounrdrel that should never have been pu in offie. and Furthermore the cgeeese they

Thomas Nilefalk

KL;ASDFJKL;ASDFJKL;ASDFJKL;ASDFJKL;ASDFJKL;ASDFJKL;ASDFJKL;ASDFJKL;ASDFJKL;ASDFJKL;ASDFJKL;ASDFJKL;ASDFJKL;ASDFJKL;ASDFJKL;ASDFJKL;ASDFJKL;ASDFJKL;ASDFJKL;ASDFJKL;ASDFJKL;ASDFJKL;ASDFJKL;ASDFJKL;ASDFJ

a;sjlkdfjlkjlkjlkfjlkfjlkfjlkfjlkfjlkfjlkfjlkfjlkfjlkfjlkfjlkfjlkfjlkfjlkfjlkfjlkfjlkfjlkfjlkfjlkfjlkfjlkfjlkfjlkfjlkfjlkfjlkfjlkfjlkfjlkfjlkfjlkfjlkfjlkfjlkfjlkfjlkfjlkfjlkfjlkfjlkfjlkfjlkfjlkfjlkfjlkfd;skajlflllflflflflflflflflflflflflflflflflflflflflflflflflflflflflflflflflflds;alkjfdfa asjk;dlf;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dlf;dlf;dlf;dlf;dlf;dlf;dlf;dlf;dlf;dlf;dlf;dlf;dlf;dlf;dlf;dlf;dlf;dlf;dlf;dlf;dlf;dlf;dlf;dlf;dlf;dlf;dlf;dlf;dl ;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl ;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl ;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl ;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl ;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl;dl ;dl;dl;dl;

Jiggy the Puzzle

I QUIT.

jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjfffffffffffffffffffffffff saffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff fuck you i quit

Jiggy the Puzzle

FUCK THE COOP TIMES. I QUIT.

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck salkfjalk;jf;lkfjl;sajf;lasj;fljs;lfjas;fj;slkjf;lskdjflj;flasj;flj;aslfj;laskdj;alsjf;lsjd;flj;asdlfjl;asjfl;jfl;;ljfl sl jlfj;lsjfljjlkjkdjfkdfjkjfkjfkjkfkfjkjfkjfalkdlja;sljf;lsjf;alj;flaj;lj;laj;la;flkaj;lfj;lkfj;lask jf;l ; fuck you i quit

Jiggy the Puzzle

FUCK THE COOP TIMES. I QUIT.

aas;fj;aslkfjlsjflasjflslkfj;sldfj;asljf;ljd;f;asjf;aslfj;asljf;aslkjf;aslkjf;aslkjf;asljf;lskjf slfj sl fjsal fjasl fjlas jflsal falkfj a fdajklfj lkfj alk jf;aljf;lskajf;sdfhjoen hv salknlkjhfooweijflaskfnwehfahpifoufgwiauhfbgawuhfawfhbhfnjhfnjhnsfoalnhfbajfbikashbfksajfkjshf fjsl sl fjsl falkj ffuck you i quit

Jiggy the Puzzle

JIBBERISH DAY

it may be aslow dasdy fdjf;sl f;asldfj;laskjdf;laskdjflasjflsdj;flaskdj;flsajlfkjflsd tosdfya today is jibberish day ;lkja;lksfj;dlkfj;laksj;fldlfj;slkfj;lsdkfjdlk j ljso so write just jibberish at your hearts contnt ajsdlkfj;lj;dljfljdfljdfljlfjljljljljdslajfasljalsjf

Jiggy the Puzzle

STILL ALIVE BABY

This is the poitn when the govenero allows me to lose my job because I am not typing afasta eneough. the goveneor has killec me and my family because I cant type fast enought fjlaskjf s;lfja;lsdfj;alsdjf;alksj;flasjdfldj;flasdj;fljs;dlfj;l for my job because i ate a taco the othr thed day. the govenor

Jiggy the Puzzle

BLAH IS DEAD

the coop times is workigh people the times of death. three people died of old age typing at reidcualpsou speeds to gry to get outssdie enought fasta to get things tdone at a resaon f safjdi heuty ejfdioj I hate this job and I wan fa new job because I cartn ajfalskjsdl Itoof flesj;flkjdf;lkj;dlk j

Jiggy the Puzzle

IT SAW THEMURDER. WAS ME

I ckilled the mayor with my silk scarf. The reason i am telling this to you right now is because i need to type faster. so i will take the blame for the murder so long as i dont get fifred for a poor job of tyhping fast enought words othesrwise i wil ldie on thes streets as a begger and wojuld hate that verymuch

Jiggy the Puzzle

DO G STATUTE OR DO G STATUE

Dog statutes should vbe illegael ins eevery sand lock in the blcok vbecasue he has the new kids obn the block had a bunch of hits and chinese food makes me sick. I think it's fly when irls stop by for the summer for thes summer. I like girls that wear amber crombiue and fitch.

Jiggy the Puzzle

SQUID? TOO EASY.

Giant squids have been known to fly into skies at incredible speeds of 90000000000 miles per our. howver there are super easyu ways to captuare these monsters. ASll our people neet are bug nets ane d a fishing pole with a brownie attacked ot the end of the pole. this lures the creature in and we win all our base.

Jiggy the Puzzle

POLICE USE MOSQUITETOES FOR DOUGHNUT CRIMES

Mosquitoes are now the new weapons o f choice for our local police force. They only want to use them to tackle the nearb y man who ate of all other toes in the outside ooft the doughnut shop. IT is very rare fo find a tik inside of a mosquitoes but it is okay now since i am typing this article for you to believe.

Jiggy the Puzzle

CITY GARBAGE STRIKE IS FAKE. YOU WONT PEOPLE BELIEVE.

City garbasge people ar enot striking even though that is what public news is telling people. Instea d the city garbage people are now fighting off mutant garbage croaks rthat are trying to eat all of our ketchup isnside of our very own refridgerators! How often do they come to your house? The world may never know.

Jiggy the Puzzle

KIDS EAT ICE CREAM! WONT BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED NEXT

11 children have been arrested for the crime of being called a pervert@ It is now just a shcocking game to the repunlic of republicans of replublic that the ice ream drunk all his wine in th ebackseat of his cafe and still managed to eat a whole nother can of yams ontop oot it!

JackRussellDog

LOCAL MOM EATS TACK. WONT BELIEVE WHAT NEXT!

Headlines newes!@ How many times do I have to tell you about this story! It is not eery a day tha you get to experiecne a man with a new news paper companty. How many times to cummmmm on a piece of paper? Wil lI pe perved out of my own job with the raise of many little kid workers? Nah. I just want to type faster.

JackRussellDog

MAN EATS BURRITO/?

Lco Man eats a burriot during the cold moth of butterlfies. However there is only so much a person and a donkey can eat. So Now the question is wht to do withthis local teenager that was found typing words as fast as he could; The answef may show you how to eat an fold laundry simutantiously . How manyt times to do: Find out next week on Dragon Ball Z

JackRussellDog

COW MILK WAR

Here's a little song I wrote. Y ou might want to sing. It is not happy because you'll die. Canda eat my mom for breakfast and for dinner. War is not possinle you say: Wlll you ever learn how to appropriately spell the mother cow names? I doubt it because now I a

JackRussellDog

HLP PLS

Bnk robbers have now been deeemed bad by the president of the anacoda repulic. Only five in two children are met int the standard of care of the local anacoda god . thesi is sock is nlsj;flkasj ;flkasdj;lf jdaslkfjsalk fj;lsjf; ljasjl  Jes sa;lf Jack is eating my mom@ jackaldjf;alsjf; JAck is eatin gmyu my mom help help help help help yes hes hes hes doing it help HELP

JackRussellDog

NO CAR IN THIS ARITCLE

Writer is now told to write a story about local car aauto stealing. yet he does not feel it is necessary to shar this story. Intsteda he wants to share with you his honest opinons of the press. It is the most coolest job he has ever had except he one time he worked for McDonalds because he got to smell groosssss.

JackRussellDog

MMMM

There is a new craze in sex toys! Not only do you get affree sex toy, but its also made o fsausage that you can eat aftert anal and vaginal foreplay1 How many more sex tooys can youi fit inside of your lucisous oholees plus you get to texperience a free bribe by the mayor! IT NOT EVERY DSY

JackRussellDog

BAD GUY NOT FOUND

yYour local man Hector turnip is now wanted for haniding over 30000 men to j ail for no crimes they have commited. Yet president John Puten the 9th says that he is the only one how can solve the mystery of the missing sandwich in his tunips. Find out next time on Dragon Ball Z

JackRussellDog

YES

The smoking kitten gun is the new hot craze int today's society. only in carpenter's mind can you find that a wild monky goose chase eats this kitten up! How many times dfo I have to tell yoU! Free coupons o to your local resturant are lncludes! I ao only want my paycheck by the end of the ay

JackRussellDog

SAND AND KIDS: A PHILOSPHICAL TANGENT

Thank god this man exists. Taking 11 kids to court, the only weay to teach them about manners and law and stuff. And respect. And stuff. Honestly, I'm gonna do what he did and take some kids to jail. RIGHT NOW. KIDS ARE DUMB. I hate em. They're like sand, they get everywhere.

Big Dick Johnaklafkljfdajkfd

I REALLY WANNA FUCK A DOG TODAY

Honestly, paunchy is my wiaifu- FUCK I mean waifu, he makes me hard. I know he's just a dog, but ehy someone needs to be that guy to say it. I wholeheartedly support the fetishization of this dog. Plus money. MONEYT. MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONEY. Yeah that's about it. Suck my- wait. This wwas written by prigeion times.

Big Dick Johnaklafkljfdajkfd

CATS ARE GAYÜ

cats are gayy cats ate tay cats ghaej gay car sar gayt dgjgjfdghdfjghdfjghdkjghdjkghdfkghdfjkghdfkghdfkjghdfjkghfjkdgat are fat gjfkdhgfjkdgdfhgjdkgfjdghdfgjdfhgjdfhgjkdhgdfghdjkghdfjghdfghdfjghdfjkghdfjkghdkfgdoes any one even read this.

dimitrie is gay lol

I WON A BLOODY BATTLE

yes jerry i did get into a fight with my typwriter it was brutal i tohug the had me until i was ablefgfjkdghdfjkghfjkdghfdghfjkdghdfjkghdfjkghdfghfdjgto slut his throat with some broken glassfgdjghjhfjkdghfdkjghdfjkghfjkdghfdkjghfdjghdfjghdfghfjkdghfdghfjkdghdfghdfjkghdfkgluyckly i surived go d bless.

dimitrie is gay lol

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

the themes are so boring no one wants to hear the like come on woho carse about any of thei si i fdhnhgdfjkghdfkghdfjkghdfjkghkdfghkfjdghjkfdhgkdfhgkdfhgi fill liek ai am going to fall a slpeeeffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffdsfgjdsg just toataking about this zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

dimitrie is gay lol

I HATE MY LIFE

dear diary my life sucks i want to die but my wife will then get my money wich i dont he stupud bitch wont get shitfgffffffggggdfjghdfjghdfjkghdkghdghdjkghdkghdfjkghjkdfghjkdfghdkjghjkdghkdghki have to write nonsence just to surive fdgnfdjghdfgjhdfjkghdkghdkghdjghdghdgdoe any one eve check the like come on .

dimitrie is gay lol

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HELLP CALL THE POLIHUHFGHDGHDKHDFJGHDGD

no please help me i am being tortered by jerry my editor he abducted me oh no here he comes shhfhsdfhnksdjdgkhdfkdhgkjdfhgkjdfhgjkdfhsgjhdfgjkfhsdgjksdhgjksdfhg not in the face nooooofdjfjsdhfjkdhgkdfhgjkfdhgkjdfhgdfhgjdfghjdghjdfghjdf i will get my revenge fsdjfsdhgjfdhgfjkdghdfgh ok just please stop ill write whate ever you want... cunt.... nothing oh dont pleasefrdgjfdgfdgjfdjhjfghjfkjjjjjjjjjfgjhfgjhfghfgjhhhh...

dimitrie is gay lol

.........................................................

...............................................................................................................................................................here is................................,.,.,m.m,.m,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,..,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,..,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,..,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.jg,ggjgjjerry is .,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,..,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,..,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,..,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,jerry is here is your puncutuaton jerry you fucking faggot....................................

dimitrie is gay lol

THE FUCK WAS THE THEME I DIDNT READ IT SHIT

i dindnt read the theme what am i supposed to wite about like what the frick guys this game is like the dark souls of typing simulators i mean its oso fruicking hard you cant eve erese thats it boys know let go jumo pf a cliff ogf how logn do i have to type i mean come on boy lest graggg some chicken nuggets

dimitrie is gay lol

DIMITRIE IS PRETTY GAY LOL

dimitrie the kitten is pretty gay boy so that tit kittens are ruining our economy and trums is being assisinated by kittens i cant type fricking hell cristian chanel screw you dimitrie youre gay lol how much more do i have to type no one reads the new i mean what is this the 19 80 hcome on this isnt rearistilcccc.lol

dimitrie is gay lol

SCREW YOU RJERRY YOU DONT CONTROL MEFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

ill do wat i want pussy boy fjfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffjkjkffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffkkkkkkkkkkkkkyouyre gay lol fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffcant stop me i am tjhe only fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffone who will do this stupid ass job you cunt.

nazyiman

BUT Y ME A BETTER FUCKING TYPWRITEHR YOU GOD DAMN CUNT

i fuc khoresesvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvzfksdfgjkdghfjkdghjkghjkdghjfghjfghfjghfghfjdghfjghfdjghdkghkdsghsdgsdfkgldgjwhat the fuck you stupid ass typwritetffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffucky you nigga lowing jew

nazyiman

FUCK THIS STUOPID ASS TYPWRITER

mosqitos are gay and have bebola lol.know lets ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffucjfjfkafjalfjlkafjafhjakdfhajkfhkdsthis inst working gggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggho ever made this typwriter sgholud die.

nazyiman

OMG OUR LEADER KILLED MBY JEW NOT CLICKBAIT

jews killed our glorious leader we should burn htemffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffalso youy kepp ddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddsaying youre gonna fire me but you never doo pussy.

nazyiman

FUCKING HELL 168 NIGGA YOU KNOW WHAT I MENA RIGHT MY FUCKING BOYY ALSO FUCK YOUR ILL SWEAR AS MUCH AS I FUCKING WANT

18 nigga in the word of pewdipie nigga jewsa re gay lol fuckc fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffuckfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffgodg die dfuckffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffucj

nazyiman

FUCK THESSE FUCKING THENNS

god dammit how many god damn times are these fucking teens opening a fucking shop thll them to fuck of areledy so screw them gggggggggggggggggggggggggggganyways fuck those teens whuy fgggggggggggggggggggggggggdoes every god damnfvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvnews have to be about them.

nazyiman

IAM DEPRESED

the city garbage means amans are demanding more kittens and less jews in our beautigfull country so lets meet their selfish desires becouse our scity i s fucking afwfuklffgrfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffthats it folks cya later garbage hater.

nazyiman

KITENS ARE KILLING US

kittens oare ruining our economy by the minute. they are just too cute but i am sadly alergich to the m so i alomost died yesterday pls help me i a m suffering anyways kittens are cute but humans are cuter cta latter chicken haters lololllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllhay

nazyiman

I ALMOST DIEED AT A RESTOURANT NO JOKE PRANK GONE WRONG FEATURING XXXCENTATION

i am alergic to taffles so i almost died when i dtried to eat here they pain saw imesurable i aam sufering from the inside its like satan himself is triying to tortere me anyways ill give it a 7out of 010 prety good bye cya later pips lolololololollllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll you wack.

nazyiman

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